10 Haters You Meet When You Become a Writer (bite me)

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It's no secret this gig comes with haters. Sometimes they're strangers on the internet. Sometimes they're acquaintances or friends. Sometimes they're family.

by Jenna Moreci

1. The Skeptic: this person for whatever reason either doesn't believe you can write or requires evidence in order to substantiate your career

2. The Snob: the two most common snobs you will come across are the genre snob and the publishing snob

3. Weird Hobby: people who go into a book with their mind already made up; Sometimes they hate the author. Sometimes they hate the genre, but they read the book anyway, and then criticize it to anyone who will listen.

4. The Rival: authors who see other writers as competition, which makes complete sense; It's not like readers can be fans of more than one book at the same time. It's also not like authors can provide a beneficial promotional network for one another. That would be stupid! I've heard of writers who gave all the authors in their writing group one-star reviews, hoping that it would drive readers away from their books and toward their own. All it did was destroy their reputation and network. Betcha didn't see that coming. The best part is, the more reviews a book has, the greater exposure it gets on review platforms, even if those reviews are one-star. Congratulations! You just promoted your "rivals" and ostracized yourself! Brilliant move!

5. The Pseudo-Intellectual: "So you're writing a book! I'm smart too! Let me prove it for the next five hours!" If you're a man, this guy will probably ask to grab a few beers and "pick your brain," and if you're a woman, he's going to offer to mentor you.

6. The Person Who Wants to Square Up: There are lots of people who find the word "author" threatening. "Oh, so you're an author? What are you trying to say? You think you're better than me because you know words and can write them?" There's nothing special about us, I promise you. Put the knife down.

7. The Tagger: the person that tags you in negative reviews

8. The Person Who Thinks Your Job Doesn't Count: "Writing isn't a real job." "Well, I make money off it, so yeah, I think it is."

9. The Interrupter: 

"I'm getting really close to the release of my book. Right now it's with the editor, and then after that, all I have to do is—" 

"Oh my Gosh! The craziest thing happened at work! A woman peed herself! Can you believe?"

"So anyway, it's with my editor, and I think I'll be getting the first round of edits in about—"

"Have you heard from Aunt Judy lately?"

"No, I haven't, but anyway my book is really—" 

"She's gotten fat! Like really fat." 

"All I have to do is write—" 

"SOOOO FAT!"

10. People Who Could Totally Be an Author, You Know, If They Wanted To: "Oh I could totally write a book, you know if I had the time." Being a condescending jerk must really eat away at your schedule, don't it?

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