Counting Sheep

Ch. 26 - Heads, Shoulders, Fingers, and Toes

I remained too much in my head and ended up losing my mind. - Edgar Allan Poe

***

May 13th

***

The sounds of crying woke me up. I rolled out of bed softly since Spencer had gone to bed much later than me. 

"I refuse to go to bed on ill turns, Max!"

"Spence, we aren't on ill terms. I just want some sleep, I go back to work tomorrow." 

"But you aren't okay and you won't let me in!"  I remember how his voice had pleaded with me. 

"I need time. I need time to give you the pieces. You can either join me in bed or not."

And he hadn't joined me until 4 am because I woke up as he slipped into the sheets. His shaky hands wrapping around me as he held back tears. 

Simon was crying out, our personal alarm clock. I picked him up and moved him to the changing table.  I whispered to him as I changed him, I held him for a few moments and let him latch onto my hair as soft giggles escaped him. I put him back down and went to wake his sister. She was a heavy sleeper and I was halfway through her diaper change before her soft eyes opened. Her tiny arms reached up for me and I cuddled her to my chest. 

I walked us both to the kitchen as I made two bottles. The nanny wasn't set to arrive until 8 am, she was set to watch the twins every day from 8 to 6 unless we had a case. If we had a case Beth would take them, since I didn't trust anyone but family to watch my children like that. 

I held the bottle as she sucked it down. I walked into the bedroom to wake Spencer. 

"Hey, Spence wake up." I leaned down to place a kiss on his temple and he rolled over his sleepy eyes settling on me. 

"Mmm, I'm awake." I rocked on my heels as I waited for him to get up. He followed me out to the kitchen and I nodded to the bottle on the counter. "Save room in the shower for me after." 

***

"Good morning Polly," I called warmingly as I let her into the apartment. The 20-year-old blonde was a natural with our twins. 

"Good morning Agent Carter, how are the twins this morning?" We had hired her through the bureau so she called me agent still.

"Simon is fussy, but he knows I'm going back into work today. As smart as his father that one. Brenna is wanting her giraffe more than anything." She smiled as we walked into the living room where they laid in their bouncers. 

"I got the schedule you sent yesterday, I familiarized myself with it already. I'll have them stimulated all day. I'll call if anything happens or changes." She smiled sweetly.

I placed a kiss into each of their heads as Spencer came into the living room greeting Polly. With a sad glance, we left the apartment and got in the car. A heavyweight on my heart as we drove to work. 

***

The elevator door opened and I held my breath. I looked at the floor, as I kicked at my feet. There was a boundary I needed to cross and I needed to know if I could. 

"Team, I'd like you to meet my daughter. Maxine Carter." I took a good look at the people before me. A kind woman with black hair offered me a smile while her eyes held ghosts behind them. A blonde woman who radiated 'good vibes' offered me a smile that only a mother could. Another blond woman who was dressed in every color under the rainbow and more offered me a grin that reminded me of happiness. A black man who I recognized from pictures offered me a smirk that radiated confidence. And lastly, my eyes cast on a man who seemed all too tall and thin. His tie lopsided matched his grin.