Wallflower Ink

Chapter 21

· Jace ·

It's Friday, and in the days that have passed between then and now, neither I nor Merri have brought up Monday evening again--at least, not with each other. But I have confided in Katie, who in turn advised me to give Merri space to work through what happened between us. After the first couple awkward days, things have gone back to normal between us, or what passes for our normal.

Soon I'll be leaving for the shop, but instead of finishing getting ready I'm standing at the kitchen window, watching Merri in the back yard. All morning she's been digging; for what, I have no idea. She'd stopped just a few minutes ago, tossing down her gardening equipment, then dragging the garden hose to the freshly turned earth she'd worked so hard over. I watch as she squeezes the handle on the sprayer and begins dousing the whole mess.

Finally my curiosity gets the better of me and I leave the kitchen through the back door. After crossing the yard, I stop next to her and watch as the water begins to first soften then turn the dark dirt into a soupy black mess.

"Okay, I'll bite," I say, fascinated by this new oddity created by Merri. "What are you doing?"

"Making a mud hole."

The serious tone of her voice undoes my composure and I grin at her response. "I can see that. Mind if I ask why?"

"I'm going to roll around in it."

"You're going to do what now?" I try to keep a lid on my laughter, but a small chuckle escapes me anyway.

"I'm going to roll around in it," she repeats.

"It was a rhetorical question, Merri. Can I ask why you'd want to do that?"

"The list," she says simply.

My laughter dies immediately. The list. Joey's list. Hadn't Daryl told me she never did anything spontaneous? She must have been planning this for a while. What other things would she be doing that were out of her box because a boy had once dreamed of doing them?

"Need some help?"

"You have to leave for work soon."

"I don't have any appointments for three hours. I can open late today."

She frowns as she thinks about that then finally nods her head. "Could you maybe stir it or something? That's an important step to making a proper mud hole, right?"

"Merri, I don't really think there's a proper way to make a mud hole, but if you want me to stir it I'll be happy to help with that."

As I move to pick the shovel up off the ground I smile to myself. Maybe the best way to help Merri is to actually help her. I turn back to the mess Merri is making in her yard and begin stirring the water and dirt, breaking up clumps as I find them.

As we work in silence, I wonder what other dreams Joey had jotted down on this list I've heard so much about. I stop to wipe the sweat from my brow, glancing at Merri as I do so. Her expression is blank but for the shine in her eyes. I know that look, have seen it time and again over the nearly three weeks I've been here. She is deep in her thoughts, or maybe a memory, and whatever it is it is feeding her incessant sadness. I hate that there is nothing I can do to stop the torture she inflicts upon herself.