Chapter 40

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A/N about updates: As those of you who follow me here (or on twitter/tumblr/facebook) might already know, I am going through a tough time. Last week, another person I knew died, making it the third funeral in four months and that’s just one of the reasons. As a result, I was away from wattpad for a few days, but I’m back and even though I’m not in the best of moods, my aim is to update both of my stories and my guidebook at least once this week. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND SUPPORT; THE COMMENTS PROVIDE A GOOD DISTRACTION!

 

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Nathaniel’s POV

I sat on my bed, my legs cuddled to my chest. I was looking before me at nothing in particular. That seemed to be a habit now, a reaction to my interactions with Hunter.

The kiss appeared surreal, almost as if I’d dreamt it. But I knew it had taken place; the way my body responded to his could was too powerful for just a dream.

How was I to face him tomorrow?

Or on any other day?

I’d crossed a line I shouldn’t have crossed, not unless I was absolutely sure I wanted to go down that road. No, not want; I had to be sure I could go down that road. That I was emotionally ready for it.

Which I wasn’t. And now, however many hours had passed with me sitting alone in the dark, I still was not ready.

“Nat?” The single knock was hesitant like her voice.

I didn’t reply at first. I wasn’t ready to speak with anyone, even my sister. But then I remembered that this was Vallery; if she was worried about me – something I had no doubt she was – she’d open the door to check on me.

I should find the key to my bedroom, I thought but replied with a quiet ‘Come in’ when she called for me again.

I blinked as my twin sister walked in slowly, turning on the light. She approached my bed with small steps. In her hands she was clutching a dark cloth. It took me a few seconds to recognize it as my jacket – the one I’d left behind in my hurry to get away from him, from what I did with him.

“You forgot it at the Johnson’s,” she said in a low tone and folded the jacket before placing it at the corner of my bed, where my feet usually were.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I announced, then added as she opened her mouth: “No, I’m not fine, yes, I’m sure I don’t want to talk about it and no, I don’t know when I will. Probably never.”

“But…”

“Vallery…”

“Just listen, Nat…”

“I said I don’t want to…”

Talk about it, but how about something else?” She shot out so I couldn’t interrupt her again. “About anything else. Something that would distract you?”

I almost smiled at her words. How could I not appreciate her help?

But even though I valued her concern, all I wished for was to be left alone. Actually, I didn’t wish for that either; I wished I could just stop existing until this cocktail of confusion and shame and guilt washed out of my veins. But since that was impossible, I wished to be left alone in my misery.

“Thanks, sis, but maybe tomorrow. Please?”

She bit her lip and nodded before heading for the door.

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