Mindy's Weight Gain

Chapter 6 - Confession

It was nice not having to wake up to an alarm. My more lazy tendencies often resulted in laid-back weekends where I did nothing but eat snacks and watch videos, a habit which probably contributed to my summer weight gain. This weekend was going to be similar, but I wanted one major change.

To eat as much as I could.

My recent grocery trip didn't net me a lot of fatty foods, but I was able to pick up a large quantity and variety of chips and pops. Cola, root beer, ketchup chips, sour cream and onion chips, and barbeque chips all made up the snacks that I had now placed besides my laptop. Chips were the easiest things to eat a lot of, where bags could be finished without realizing it. Pops, or sodas as others called them, helped in getting things down, along with providing a nice contrary sweetness to the more salty chips. With my snacks ready, I was ready to start.

As the day went on, more and more of the snacks were being finished. The 2L of cola, and the family-sized bags of ketchup and sour cream and onion, all were finished over the course of a few hours. The mindless habit of reaching in the chip bag made it so easy to consume both bags. The colas refreshing aftertaste drew me to drink it frequently, though I was feeling full by the time I finished the last few drops. 

I got up for a short break from my sedentary activity to stretch out my legs. I was a little surprised to see the little fatty layer that had appeared over top my jeans once again. Normally it was just a little roll, but this time it folded over my jeans. Was I already gaining a bit of weight?

Evening came, and I continued my snacking after a brief period to digest it all. The last bag of chips were gone in a matter of no time, however I was struggling to finish the 2L of root beer. By this point, each gulp of pop felt awful, and I was starting to feel a bit sick. I decided I'd finish it tomorrow morning. 

My nightly routine continued in a sluggish manner. While it was nice knowing I ate a lot today, I still felt unfulfilled. Despite ingesting more calories than yesterday, the wonder from before was nowhere to be found. Something was missing, and I didn't know what. I felt some doubts about what I was doing on a personal level for the first time. 

"Is this really what you wanted? To get fat?"

Before it was outside factors that caused me these doubts, whether it be financial or outside pressure. Now the voice was my own. 

"What am I doing?"

I saw a note that had Trista's number written down on it besides my bed.

"What would she think about this?"

I realized that my lack of wonderment was a result of the conflictions I was having. Would I be willing to give up a friend just to pleasure myself? I didn't think so, but I couldn't toss away a thing that had so burnt itself into my identity. Before a few days ago, I had nothing really interesting, I couldn't even think of something unique about myself. But now? I had a goal for the first time in my life, something that school, art, or anything had ever given me before. 

I needed someone to talk to. I dialed in the number, and called Trista.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"This is Mindy, could you come over? I need to talk to you. . ."

"Sure, but where do you live exactly?"

"Oh sorry, I live in the apartment besides the McBurger near Henwin. You know that one?"

"Yeah, I'll be right over."

"Thanks. Just call me when you get here. I'm on the sixth floor, room 612."

I don't know what I was going to say, but I needed someone to help sort my feelings out. I hid my garbage and the pop bottles. I was in my pajamas already so I changed back into a new set of clothes. The little roll of fat was still present, but my shirt covered it perfectly fine. I heard my phone ring and I buzzed Trista in. A short while later I heard a few knocks at my door.

"Thanks for coming."

"Don't mention it. Why did you need me over here."

"Trista. . . I don't know. Like I don't know how my life is going. So many different directions and I just don't think I could satisfy them all. I know what is closest to me but I just don't know if I'm willing to make sacrifices necessary. . . I know it's only been a day since I met you, but you're the only one I thought who would listen. . . "

"Mindy. . .life is a mess. No one knows what to make of it or where to go, we all just like to think we do. No matter how much we plan, how much we prepare, nothing is set in life. I know it's cliché, but knowing when to go with the flow can really help."

"I just don't know if I want to do that. Like I think that's what I am doing right now, and I see later down the line that things will collide."

"What are these things exactly?"

"Umm. . . I don't think you would want to know."

"You sure? I won't judge."

"It' something you won't expect. Like I know you say you won't judge but I know you will, everyone would, and it wouldn't be your fault bu-"

"Mindy, I know we only met yesterday, but if you need someone you can trust I'll be that person."

"You promise?"

"Of course. Now what is this thing?"

I didn't foresee this happening. The collision of interests was happening sooner than I could have thought; Normalcy and friends versus personal pleasure. Trista was right, I needed someone to trust, and if I couldn't trust a friend were they really a friend in the first place? I took a deep breath. This was going to happen to somebody someday, I just didn't think it would be this soon.

Here goes nothing.

"Trista. . . I want to get . . . fat."