The Rockstar Chronicles

Misgivings

The next morning, Mom woke me up early once again. I groaned as I climbed out of bed and started to pull on some old jeans and loose t-shirt, but then I remembered Ryder and the kiss.

I had fallen asleep the night before thinking about it, replaying it over and over in my head. It was my first kiss and it couldn’t have been more perfect. I ignored Mom, sinking back onto my bed instead and closing my eyes as I dreamed.

I could almost feel the cool night breeze ruffling my hair once more and Ryder’s hand against my cheek. His beautiful eyes….

“Lindy! What are you doing? I told you to get up!” Mom said from my doorway. She marched into my room and pulled a pale pink sundress from the closet, tossing it at me. “Get dressed.” She raised her eyebrows as she spoke. It was her “I mean it” look.

“But I was going to wear my jeans and a t-shirt,” I protested.

“Not today,” Mom said briskly, pausing with one hand on the door frame to glance back at me. “And why don’t you wear your hair down for a change?”

My first instinct was to argue, but then a new thought came to me. Ryder’s going to be there. I bit my lip, blushing, and changed into my Mom’s favorite outfit, secretly thankful for her intervention.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the dream state that had come over me. I brushed my hair mechanically, snapping a hair band onto my wrist for later. I always tired of hair in my face pretty quickly.

Ryder’s expression as we broke apart, far too soon in my opinion, came to me. He had stared into my eyes, looking…. Well, almost worried, if I wanted to be honest. No, that wasn’t right. He had looked….

How had he looked? The harder I tried to picture it, the hazier it seemed.

“LINDY!” Mom screamed and I jumped, slipping on a pair of flip flops and running down the stairs. Mom glanced at my choice of shoes disapprovingly, but said nothing, sniffing her disapproval instead.

The car waited outside. “Why do I have to go?” I groaned, rubbing my still sleepy eyes. Dreaming about Ryder had seriously disturbed my sleep. Don’t complain, I thought. Ryder’s going to be there. But it can be hard to break old habits.

Mom didn’t even reply to me. She simply walked away, already busy on her phone, with a heavy dark bag slung over her shoulder. Grady shuffled along behind her, ignoring me. His hair stuck up at crazy angles and his hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his sweatpants.

It was hard to tell since it was his usual expression, but it seemed as if Grady looked even more disgruntled than usual. He caught me looking at him and frowned, staring in the other direction.

When we reached the car, I climbed in first with Grady scooting in behind me. Mom closed the door on us as she spoke quietly into her phone. The car was dark and cool. It instantly made me sleepy once more. Leaning back against the plush leather, I closed my eyes.

I started to go back to my new favorite subject, namely Ryder, but I suddenly felt a tingling sensation on my scalp. I had the sudden feeling that someone was watching me. I opened my eyes, glancing quickly at the driver’s seat, but it was empty. He stood outside by Mom, waiting to open the door for her.

Then I noticed Grady. He was staring at me with an odd expression on his face. I stared back, confused.

“Lindy?” Grady asked. “What do you think it would be like to be famous?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Think about it.”

The urgency in his voice reached me and I paused, considering a future that included everyone knowing Grady’s name and face. His fame following him wherever he went.

“I… I don’t think you’ll mind. Very much,” I said. “I know I’d hate it, but you seem to like performing and you’re really good at it. Besides,” I laughed shortly, “Mom has decided it’s going to happen. It’s not really like you have a choice anymore.”

Grady swallowed hard, staring out at Mom with a worried expression. It reminded me suddenly of how Ryder had looked the night before and a sick feeling appeared in my stomach. Something is wrong, I thought. Grady doesn't want to do this. I felt suddenly very sorry for my brother.

Grady took a deep breath and started to say something else to me, it looked as if he was going to ask me another question, but he never got the chance. The door to the car opened suddenly and Mom slid inside smoothly, smiling a bright, fake smile.

“Ready, kids?” she asked.

And then the car slid smoothly onto the street, without need of our replies.