Eyes On You: Book-1 [A Mycroft Holmes Fanfiction]

Chapter 24- Sabotage and The Other One

'I don't think he is going to want to talk right now' Sherlock told Tara as she got up to go after Mycroft.

'Just because he doesn't want to talk, doesn't mean he has to be alone, Sherlock' she said and went after Mycroft.

Mycroft sat in his childhood bedroom when he saw Tara entering. 'Tara' he sighed 'I don't want to talk about it.' he told her as she started walking towards him.

'Okay. You don't have to. I can stay quiet' she said as she sat down next to him. 'I am not leaving you alone' she took his hand and gave a gentle squeeze.

Mycroft looked up at her and sighed. Silence filled the room. The living room stereo was no longer playing Christmas carols. They could hear Sherlock defending Mycroft in front of Violet, at a distance. It sounded like they were having a fight. Mycroft closed his eyes and tried to fade away the yelling in the silence of his bedroom.

'I don't hate her, you know?' Mycroft spoke softly, breaking the silence

'How could you? She is your sister.'

'I didn't tell you because it's way too complicated. You have baggage of your own, I didn't want to burden you.'

'You're wrong, Mycroft.' She shook her head 'That's not what relationships are about. Relationships are about carrying each other through their pain. It's about that one person who is willing to be in your corner when the whole world turns their back on you.' she placed her hand on his cheek 'Whatever it is, if and when you feel comfortable you can confide in me.' She said and got up to leave.

Mycroft caught her wrist, stopping her. 'Eurus was the youngest. Eight years younger than me and a year younger to Sherlock' He began and Tara sat down beside him. Mycroft took a deep breath and closed his eyes and let the images flash through his mind as he told her everything. 'She is extremely intelligent and is a master of manipulation. She was classified as an era-defining genius...

As a young child, she lacked emotion and seemingly the ability to distinguish her own pain, cutting open her arm because she wanted to see how her muscles worked... She had a singular preference for Sherlock. Sherlock however was preoccupied with his best friend Victor... She killed him... Later, she started making drawings of a dead Sherlock and acted upon them by burning down this house...' Mycroft swallowed as the horrifying, disturbing images started coming back to him, making him sick to the stomach. 'My Uncle Rudolph took her away to ensure that she didn't harm anyone else. I was the only other person who knew about it... I lied and told my parent at Eurus died in another fire she started, in order to save them from the pain of knowing the monster she was turning into. She has been incarcerated in Sherrinford since then... Sherlock rewrote his memories to forget Victor and Eurus.' He stopped and took a deep breath, he physically ached as he went on. 'A few years ago, she got out using her skill of manipulation. She partnered with Sherlock's worst enemy to create an elaborate 'game'. To play with all of us. Sherlock, John and me. The three of us could've very well died that day.' The memories he tried so hard to bury were flashing through his brain. He wasn't telling her the whole truth. Tara knew that. But she didn't want to stir the pot too much. It must've taken a lot of courage for Mycroft to confide in her about something like this.

'Mycroft, I am so sorry.' Tara whispered and tried to comfort him.

'I initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. I thought if I became a psychiatrist, I could fix her.' Mycroft whispered. His voice sounded more broken than ever.

It wasn't the same as her grief, but Tara knew how hard it was to live with that kind of pain, stabbing ones' heart every single day of their life. No one deserved that kind of pain. It killed her to know that there was nothing she could do to take away his pain, to comfort. All she could do was be there for him. 'It took a lot of pain and loss for me to realize there are some things I couldn't fix. Our life is a product of the choices we make. Some good choices and some bad ones. But something we never seem to realize is that choices aren't always between good or bad, sometimes they are between bad and worse. Our actions have consequences. No matter how hard we try to fix things, there are some things we cannot fix. And it hurts, it hurts like hell but you have to learn to live with it. And one day hopefully it will hurt less.' She said and leaned her head on his shoulder.

He knew she was right. There was nothing he could do about it. He knew not all the right choices had to end in happiness. He just had to live with it. His mother would probably never come to terms with how he dealt with Eurus. He had carried the weight of that burden his whole life and he knew he had to carry that burden for the rest of his life. It had affected all his relationships. Uncle Rudolph had been lucky to find freedom from that burden in the sweet release of death. He just had to wait it out until then.

..........

Mycroft couldn't sleep that night. He sat in the living room gazing at the fireplace. Violet couldn't sleep as well. When she saw Mycroft in the living room, she went and sat next to him. He glanced at her and then back at the fire, he took a deep breath and said 'I apologize for the way I acted earlier tonight. You just caught me off guard.'

'It's alright, Mycroft. I understand. I shouldn't have brought it up' Violet told him.

He didn't know what to say, he just gave her a slight nod. 'Do you think I sabotage the relationships in my life, that I don't know how to love?' he asked while still looking at the fire.

Violet was taken by surprise. She didn't know what to say. She didn't think she would ever have this kind of conversation with any of her children, least of all Mycroft. She just stared at him dumbfounded.

'I assume that answers that.' He scoffed at her reaction.

Violet shook her head. 'I know we have a difficult relationship and that is probably my fault. I don't acknowledge you enough for the sacrifices you make for this family.' He looked surprised by what he was hearing. She just continued 'Always taking care of your siblings. Trying to keep them out of trouble. Trying to keep them out of harm's way. Always having to be the Grown-up, the Sensible One. You know that way you're most like your father' she said with a small smile, he smiled at the comparison too.......... 'I owe you an apology for the way I reacted when I found out about Eurus. I thought my pain justified my anger, but it doesn't. I wasn't fair to you. I know life has never been easy for you. And I am sorry you missed out on being a child and having a normal life because of everything' she continued as she whispered through tears in her eyes. 'If you don't think you're worthy of love. If you don't think your love is valuable, you're wrong. And that's on me.' she said sternly.

He shook his head 'I don't blame you for that.' he told her

'I know. But I am sorry I wasn't there enough when you needed me, trying to make sense of life or love. I tried, but perhaps it wasn't enough. I am sorry you felt that you had to protect me. Put that on me and move forward. You have love right in front of you. Grab it and don't let it go' she urged him.

'What if I can't?' he asked, his voice was broken.

'I know you can' Violet handed him a ring. 'Your father gave me this ring when he proposed. We wanted one of you boys to have it if you ever found the right girl. Over the years we had given up hope on that but I guess unlike Sherlock there is still hope for you. Now I know it is too early in your relationship but I believe she is right for you.'

'You don't even know her' he told his mother, giving her a disbelieving look.

She smiled at him 'I know enough and I've seen enough. I see her eyes and there is love for you in them, and I know you feel the same way. She adds color to the vintage, black, and white movie you live in. She understands you. You need someone like that. She is the one, Mycroft.'

A small smile graced his lips that didn't go unnoticed by Violet.

'I know you will give it to her when the time is right.' she brushed her fingers through his hair, giving him a kiss on his forehead. 'Good night, Myc'

He didn't feel like correcting her at that moment and decided to let it slide. 'Good night, Mummy'

........

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