When Storm Clouds Hover

34: Dom - Wanting what you can't have

Dom led Izzy by the hand towards a small, darkened alley beside the entrance to the club, away from prying eyes. Roughly he pushed her up against the wall without saying a word. His eyes sought and held hers, he wanted to know that what he'd felt these past couple of weeks wasn't one-sided, that he didn't imagine their chemistry. He wanted to see her, wanting him.

Her eyes glistened in the moonlight, they were the most stumbling emerald green. And then, there it was. Desire! Unmistakable. He'd seen this look many times in other girls but never in someone like her. He knew Izzy was exceptional. This wasn't the same as any other time, with any other girl. Izzy was fragile somehow, he wasn't sure why he felt that, but he was certain of it. They had gotten close in the past couple of weeks, and he'd begun to care for her as a friend, something he really wanted to explore more. But then there was this other feeling. And it was getting stronger every day. Watching her open-up and be herself around him had given him a lot of enjoyment. He'd taken to counting the times she smiled wide enough to reveal her dimples.

Dom knew he had to be careful, he was on dangerous territory here. He could mess things up badly. He paused, briefly experiencing a moment of unprecedented angst.

What the hell am I doing?

Izzy was inches from him now, she was everything he wanted, beautiful and kind and so unlike Em in everyway. For the first time being with a girl since he'd broken up with Pascal, he didn't wish she was her. His heart was racing. In that split second, he wasn't sure what to do. Did he push forward and take what he wanted, like he always had? Or would that ruin everything?

Izzy flinched at his hesitation and pulled away from him, but he kept a firm hold of her hand, he wasn't letting her go.

'I get it, Sac,' Izzy said, clearly annoyed. 'Em. You're with Em.'

'Iz, that's not it,' Dom said softly. 'It's just... I'm confused. I feel ...,' he squinted and shook his head a little, 'Sorry, I feel sort of weird.'

'Yes, and I feel wrong.' Izzy retorted. 'What the hell are we doing here, Dom?' She tried again to move away from him. He pulled her back taking a gentle but firm hold of her other hand. She faced towards him and met his gaze.

'Don't go, please. I brought you out here because I want to kiss you. This has been on my mind for a while. I think that I want to be with you.'

Izzy dropped her eyes. 'But Dom, you're not with me,' she responded beneath her breath. 'You've got a girlfriend. She's my best friend. We can't do whatever the hell we want.'

'Listen, I'm sorry, I thought I knew what I was doing,' he said, lightly squeezing her hands. He smiled his best encouraging smile. 'Let's not overthink this tonight, hey? We can work it out. Please?'

'There's nothing to work out.' Izzy said lifting her gaze again, 'you're with my best friend, she's in love with you and I'm... well, I'm being a bitch.'

Dom shook his head firmly. 'I know how Em feels but I'm not in love with her,' he said hurriedly. 'Doesn't that count for something?'

Izzy looked down and shook her head.

'I've always known how she felt about me,' Dom explained, '...and I've tried to be careful with her feelings. I care about her, but I've never been in love with her.'

Izzy shook her head and stepped backwards, releasing herself from his clasp.

Dom felt suddenly anxious, he knew in that moment he was going to lose Izzy if he didn't make her understand.

'Listen Iz...I liked what Em and I had going on last term,' he explained. 'She made me laugh. We had fun. It was easy, but something's changed this past couple of weeks hanging out with you. I don't even miss her. And that's a problem, right?'

Dom's scanned Izzy's face, searching for a sign she understood. For a moment, it looked like she was going to say something but she stopped herself.

'Iz, I can't stop thinking about you,' Dom said. 'At the start of the summer, when we told Em we'd hang out together, I wasn't expecting to grow feelings for you. I didn't set out to hurt her.'

'Dom, you hurt her often, whether you set out to or not, you know that.'

'Ah, c'mon Iz, don't be like that. Em knew I played around sometimes, but she forgave me. It's just the way we were. The rules were just supposed to be a joke, something to make the summer fun.'

Izzy shifted uncomfortably. Her gaze seemed unfocused.

'What Em and I had was good, but it's just not there anymore for me, I can't change that,' Dom said firmly. 'There was a time when I was looking forward to her coming home, but now I wish it wasn't so soon. I need time to work this out without obstacles and judgment. There's something here, with you and me, I can feel it, and I know you feel it too.' He moved forward and took Izzy by the hand again. This time, she didn't push him away. Their bodies were a foot apart. He gently but firmly pulled her closer.

'You look so good to me, Isabella Storm,' he whispered. 'Please, I want to kiss you tonight.'