When Storm Clouds Hover

40: Izzy - Crossed wires

When Izzy awoke on Tuesday, everything that had happened seemed far less intense. Em had overreacted because she'd been blindsided; Izzy was convinced of it. She would come around eventually, things just needed time to settle down.

They avoided each other in the breakfast queue. To give Em time to come around, Izzy sat at a different table to her usual spot. Zara brought her tray over to Izzy's table to keep her company.

Izzy had to admit that what she'd done was incredibly hurtful. Em needed space, and she would give it to her. She just needed to pull her head in, suck it up and take the high road, and that meant speaking to Dom.

She ate her breakfast sullenly, mulling over in her mind what she'd say to him.

'What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?' Zara asked softly.

Izzy just shook her head and crunched down on a piece of vegemite toast.

'I get you,' Zara said. She seemed to understand that this was something Izzy needed to sort out on her own. They ate breakfast in silence.

Even though Zara was kind enough not to say: 'I told you so'; Izzy felt her own stupidity keenly. Em's reaction had been brutal. Far worse than she had pictured it. She knew for sure now that Zara had been right about not telling Em and she was upset at herself for not taking such sage advice from a friend who clearly had her best interests at heart. She'd learned the hard way that the truth didn't necessarily set you free.

Izzy was mad at Dom too, and she had to let him know it. He'd misled her, and her friendship with Em had been collateral damage. That was unacceptable.

Later that day, Izzy sought refuge in the girl's bathroom before meeting with Dom, trying to capture the unbending resolve of earlier that morning. Unfortunately, her confidence seemed to elude her. No matter how she thought about this, she owed it to Em to have it out with him.

Dom had been the first to contact her. They'd agreed to meet by the school bell near the cafeteria. He was already there waiting when she arrived. On her approach, Izzy paused a moment and watched him casually flicking through his phone. She felt a nervous energy zing through her body. He glanced up at her, and she sat down awkwardly on the bench beside him.

'So ...' he said, putting his phone down.

'So,' she responded, wincing at his expression. 'Looks like we've got a mess on our hands.'

'What were you expecting, Iz?' Dom said, shaking his head. 'Did you have to go and tell her? I can't think what you were thinking.'

Izzy was startled. She wasn't sure what she'd expected from him, but it wasn't this.

'Yes! I had to tell her, Sac. She's my best friend.'

'Well, I'm not sure now if that's still the case,' Dom said. 'I'd be surprised if she's talking to you at all.'

'And whose fault is that, I wonder?'

'Oh my God,' Dom said, looking at her incredulously. 'Are you deluded? You can't put this all on me. You're just as much to blame, you know.'

Izzy shifted in her seat so that she could look directly at him. 'But Dom, I didn't deceive you. You told me things were as good as over with her. And yet, here we are.'

Izzy was nothing like as composed as she was pretending to be.

Dom let out a subtle but audible sigh. 'Did it occur to you that I had intended to tell her? That just maybe, you jumped the gun and put me in a fucked-up position.'

Izzy felt herself getting emotional. She willed calm into her voice. 'It sure as hell didn't look that way to me. You've had heaps of time to tell her. I heard you were all over her on Saturday night.'

'Christ! You make goodness into a sin, Iz! Em is fucking mad at us both now, and I don't know how to make it up to her. So, if you're expecting me to break up with her, I'm here to tell you now is a bad time! It isn't going to happen.'

Izzy could feel her face flush with shame. Before she knew it, her survival instinct had kicked in, and she knew she had to get away from him. She picked up her school bag from under the bench and stood up hastily.

'Where are you going?' Dom said. 'You wanted to talk. Let's talk.'

Despite her best efforts, tears sprung to Izzy's eyes. It was a mistake to have believed that Dom could care about her. Even though she wanted to have it out with him, a voice in her head was telling her to walk away.

'I don't think there's anything to talk about.'

'Please listen to me, Isabella,' Dom said. 'Em is not taking this well.'

'I think you've said everything that needs to be said....'

'But....'

'But. Nothing!' Izzy spoke over his interjection.

'I thought you wanted....'

Izzy lifted her hand to stop him from speaking. He looked confused. She spun on her heels and walked away from him.

Her thoughts were scrambled, and she felt faint. How humiliating it had been to show Dom she cared about him, only to have him choose Em over her. What a joke! She should never have gone anywhere near him.

WitnessingEm's pain too, pain that she'd caused had been horrible. Izzy walked brisklypast the dining room towards her study. She resisted the urge to cry, therewere so many other students around, and she didn't want to make a scene. Sheplayed the conversation with Dom over in her head. Where did it go wrong? Whywas he being like this? In her heart, she knew she had to let it go, but it wasso hard. She felt as if she'd lost someone special, which was crazy because he'dnever been hers in the first place.