Forget-me-not

Seungmin

The soft rapping on Seungmin's bedroom door jerked him from a dreamless sleep. The sleepy haze wrapped around him like a cocoon. His eyes slipped open and silence filled the air. Convinced he imagined it, he began drifting back to sleep when the knocking began again. 

With a groan, he jerked off the blankets. His bare feet padded the ground and he rubbed his eyes while walking to the door. A glance back at his alarm clock showed it was mid-morning. All of the guys were supposed to be at the studio. 

He pulled the door open and squinted. A grin sat on Changbin's face. He held up a brown bag of food and an iced americano. "Good morning, Seungminnie!" 

A confused look sat on Seungmin's face. Changbin laughed and pushed the cold coffee towards him. "Drink some of this, it'll help you wake up." 

Seungmin obliged and took a sip. He stepped back and Changbin came inside. Without asking, he walked over to Seungmin's bed and he plopped down on it. The yellow stuffed Pikachu he had was sticking half out beneath his pillow. 

Changbin grabbed it and placed it sitting up on Seungmin's pillow. "Now he can be part of our conversation and watch us eat." He rubbed his hands together before he dug into the bag. 

"Are you trying to torture him?" Seungmin mumbled. He walked over and sat on the edge of his bed. "Why are you here? Don't you have a song to direct?" 

"I left that up to Bang Chan and Hannie. We agreed that I would come in later today. Besides, Hannie wanted to direct this song anyway. He's the one that wrote it and created the singing guide." 

Changbin pulled out a hash brown and handed it to Seungmin. The scent instantly caused Seungmin's stomach to grumble. He hadn't had anything to eat last night. After everything happened and he broke down in front of Felix, he climbed into bed without eating. He thanked him and took it. 

Changbin pulled out his own hash brown and took a bite out of it. The grease coated his lips with the first bite. He moaned in delight and took another bite. "This beats the chicken breast I've been eating recently." 

"Don't you ever get tired of consuming chicken breast?" 

"Anything to keep these bad boys." He reached up and flexed one of his massive biceps. "I've been lifting more recently and bulking up again." 

"One of these days, I'm afraid your biceps are going to pop." 

"That's not how muscles work." 

"You're walking on thin ice. You're going to rip a shirt at a concert and the fans are going to lose it. You'll be trending on twitter and everything. Dispatch will probably make an article and our management will have to make a public statement addressing it." 

"Yah!" Changbin reached over and swatted the empty space near Seungmin's shoulder. "It's not like we haven't had wardrobe malfunctions before! I'm not going to rip my shirt like the hulk." 

"You're right. Chan is probably going to rip his pants at the seams first. Then he'd have to put out a public statement apologizing for flashing everyone." Changbin giggled. Seungmin took a bite out of his hash brown and swallowed it. "Why are you here anyway?" 

"Can't I just be a good hyung?" 

"No, you definitely want something, but I don't know what it is yet. If I had to take a guess, it's probably about last night. Don't worry about it, I'm fine." 

Changbin let out a sigh. "It's not that simple. I worry about you all the time, but I trust that you'll come to someone when you need to. Plus, we've all been checking in on you a lot." 

Seungmin's gaze went to the floor. 

"I wanted to talk to you about Cynthia." 

"What about her?" 

Changbin stayed quiet for a moment. "I don't want to frighten you, but did Flora and Cynthia ever have a toxic friendship?" 

"What?" Seungmin's head snapped towards Changbin. "What are you talking about? Did something happen after Hyunjin dropped Cynthia off? Did Flora hurt her?" Seungmin quickly got up, "I swear I'm going t-" 

"No," Changbin cut him off, "she's not hurt. When Flora saw Cynthia with Hyunjin, she got upset. Hyunjin found her in just a t-shirt and jeans. He took her to a convenience store to buy her ramen and a warm drink. When Flora saw the coffee, she knocked it from Cynthia's hand." 

"What?" 

"I only know what Hyunjin told me. He got into the start of an argument with Flora and Flora jerked Cynthia inside warning her that strangers could be dangerous." 

"Hyunjin isn't a stranger to her." 

"Clearly, Flora didn't want her to know that. She didn't let Cynthia say good-bye. Hyunjin said he watched Flora drag Cynthia towards the elevator while lecturing her. So I'm going to ask you again, did Flora and Cynthia have a toxic friendship?" 

The question bounced around Seungmin's head. He pushed through faded memories trying to recall all the things Cynthia told him about Flora. He lived a pretty active life. A lot of old conversations had faded over the months. 

"Not that I'm aware of. I know the two of them texted a lot. Flora had a lot of mental health issues, but Cynthia never really went into them. I know Flora didn't have a great relationship with her parents, but that's all I can recall at the moment." 

"Did she like Flora?" 

"I think so. She spent time with her. She always seemed fine when she came back from Flora's apartment. Do you think they have an unhealthy relationship?" 

"I don't know. From what Hyunjin described occurring yesterday, it suggests that Flora has control issues. Whatever the case, I'm worried about Cynthia. Staying cooped up in Flora's apartment twenty-four-seven isn't good for her." 

In Changbin's eyes, even though Seungmin was twenty-three years old, he viewed him as his younger brother. He was happier when Cynthia was around. Everyone was happier when Cynthia was around. She made sure people were included in things and always checked in with everyone. 

Nice people were easy to take advantage of, especially, when they weren't aware of the dangers around them. Being nice could be a deadly game. If you were too nice, people could take advantage of your kindness. Kindness had a balance and, with zero memory and no outside support, Cynthia could easily become a victim. 

It was nice to be kind, but being kind without boundaries caused issues. People pleasing and bending backwards to please others could cause more harm to yourself than good. By giving up what you want and constantly bowing down to others, you'd never win. 

It's an easy way to get trapped in a toxic relationship. Part of having any kind of relationship is to create healthy boundaries. It's easy to destroy yourself to seek validation. It's harder to pick yourself up when your self-esteem lies in ruins. 

Sometimes you crave so much validation, you become codependent on it. Stress levels go up and oftentimes, that validation is only temporary. Once it goes away, you become desperate to hear more. You'll go to the ends of the earth to be praised again; it's a band-aid shoved over a gaping wound that requires stitches. 

Seungmin nodded and stayed quiet. His fingers tightened around the hash brown. Grease stained his fingers and the golden fried potato shreds squished into a mush. "Should we be worried?" He finally got out. 

"Honestly, I don't know and that concerns me."