Forget-me-not

Seungmin

Monarch butterflies cannot survive the northern winter climate. Much like birds, the orange, black, and white winged creatures travel south towards the equator to catch the warmth of the sun. Snowy days and bitter air become replaced with sunlight and warmer temperatures. 

The familiar butterflies in Seungmin's stomach migrated this winter too. He couldn't recall the last time he felt the feathering of a single invisible wing against his stomach. A flock of butterflies is called a kaleidoscope due to all the colors sweeping across the sky. 

Being in love scared him, but with Cynthia, it felt natural. He was timid at first, but then things happened. Kisses became normal and his hands found hers. He could recall the first moment his arm slung over her shoulders. She leaned her head over into his shoulder and sighed. 

Her dark eyelashes fluttered shut in the middle of their movie. At some point, his arm went numb due to the position. The pair were on the couch watching some cheesy romance movie that she picked out. He didn't mind the tingling once he realized how peaceful she looked. 

The warmth of her body and the way they connected together like puzzle pieces; physical touch had played such a big role in their relationship and he hadn't realized it until now. He craved the warmth of her soft hand in his, the weight of her head on his shoulder, and the quick kisses she pressed to his cheeks. 

Memories like these floated through his head. He caught them and relived them all. He had forgotten what life was like before Cynthia. He was so attached to her that he never thought there'd be a day when he wouldn't wake up to her or her text messages. 

Even when he was with his band on tour, she made sure to check the time zones and text him before he woke up. Even if she had to set an alarm to wake up in the middle of the night or shoot him a text in the middle of work, she would. He kept finding himself glancing down at his phone a lot. 

When it was on vibrate, every buzz sent a surge through him. He was hoping, praying even, that Cynthia would find her way back to him. He'd hold his breath and unlock his phone. Every text message or social media notification was met with disappointment and a tinge of hurt. 

As much as he wanted to rescue Cynthia from Flora's apartment, he couldn't. He didn't know the exact state Cynthia was in. The last thing he wanted to do was show up and frighten her. He didn't want to cause her distress. Plus, he was constantly working different hours. 

He didn't have time to take Cynthia to her appointments. Especially not when they traveled for interviews and photoshoots. Another tour was being discussed by management. If they agreed to it, it's not like he'd be around anyway. He would have liked to take her with him, but all the traveling and her lack of memory wasn't such a good idea. 

While he'd be completing soundchecks and dance rehearsals, Cynthia would be bored. He didn't want her wandering around venues and getting lost. He didn't want to hand her off to a member of their crew either. She needed someone who could be there twenty-four-seven to help her and that was Flora. 

Despite all that Seungmin knew, Flora probably knew more considering their friendship. He was tempted to try to work something out with Flora, so Cynthia could go back and forth, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. Flora wouldn't agree to something like that. 

The more he thought about it, the more Chan and Changbin were both right with what they said. Flora was overbearing and maybe even a little too overprotective of Cynthia. It sucked because Cynthia was caught in the cross fire. Seungmin didn't want her to hate him. 

Plus, who knew how far Flora would go. She could tell Cynthia that he was a stranger or that he hurt her in the past. She could change the narrative and make him whoever she wanted him to be. She could make him the crazy ex-boyfriend or an unhinged stalker. She could say whatever, and because of the relationship she had with Cynthia now, Cynthia would believe her. 

If Seungmin stayed away, Flora might not try to paint him as a villain. He'd rather be unknown than someone Cynthia couldn't trust. Somehow, he'd figure it out. He wasn't sure how, but he'd do it. He wasn't going to let Flora get away with cutting him away from Cynthia. 

It might take him a while, but he'd fight to get Cynthia back. Despite everything that had happened, the two of them hadn't broken up, they were still significant others. One day, he was going to get his Cynthia back. 

Until then, he had to return to his usual activities because his hiatus ended tomorrow.