P: Proving My Worth T: Confused

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I feel bad

Partly

But I don’t love her

I love you

And that’s what’s confused me

What I’ve done with her isn’t love

It’s fun

It’s not an emotional connection like you

It’s a physical attachment

And that’s where I’m confused

I shouldn’t be doing this

I love you so

Her?

It’s just for the time because I can

And the fact that we can’t

I guess that’s another thing

I hope that I can take you to a dance

That would be amazing

More amazing than words

To take you

And be

With you on the floor

Holding hands

Taking steps

One, two, and three

To waltz with you

To joke around and do some moves

To take you on a journey that I’ve taken only a few

It’s fun to dance

Oddly to say

I wouldn’t want anyone else to know

But I like to dance

Is that gay in anyway?

No.

It’s just something that I like to do

Something that I’d love to do with you

To take you in my arms

In a slow song

Whisper how much I love you

With her it’s completely different

We’ve danced

But it’s not romantic

Not at all

She gives me this assurance

That she’ll be there for me

It’s because I’ve done this for her

And really the friends that have that feeling

Those are the ones that I want to keep

I don’t want us to end

But I won’t stay here for you

You know this

And I hate to admit

That as much as I love you, you can’t stop me from this

I have this passion

And it’s burning immensely

It won’t go out

You see

I want us to be

But your parents say without doubt

That I’m not a good influence

That I’m not ‘the real deal’

Say what they want

I’ll ALWAYS be here

For you

For her

I don’t care

My friends are the people I never let go

The oldest

The youngest

The new

The honest

The trustworthy

Who knows?

Only I will continue to stay by their side to find out

So who will you be for me?

I don’t want to promise anything

But here’s the thing

It’s the only way

To get people to understand

What’s worth my time

I never gave it a thought

I just walked away when I didn’t like the thought

But this situation I’ve gotten in

Amazed to say that I haven’t hurt you

Not that you know

And I don’t want to keep a secret

But I do love you

Not her

I hope you understand this at the least

I love you

Not anyone else

And this addiction I have

It’s physical

Not emotional at the least.

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