A Beautiful Mess.

20.

Sindi and I silently sat on the bed watching a movie on her laptop while eating taking aways. I had been silent for the last hour since seeing the contents of the box. I don't know if I was silent because I had nothing to say or just didn't know how to say whatever I wanted to say. But all I knew is I was silent for a reason. I wasn't at all focused on the movie either. I was too deep in thought.

I stood up and went into my bedroom and sat on the bed in silence. I then grabbed on of the envelopes and stared at it, contemplating whether I should open it. I felt like it wasn't my place to know what was inside seeing that my mother addressed these to herself but she did keep it in the box with all the things she wanted me to have so I guess it wouldn't really be intruding because it meant my mother wanted me to see all this. I opened the envelope and found a piece of paper with writing on it. It looked like a letter from my mother to my mother.

25 June 2002.

A busy day in the ER today, my legs were throbbing the whole day from standing up too long. Was met with a young girl today with 3rd degree burns after being trapped in a shack fire. Her mother died today from her injuries. My heart was heavy most of the day seeing that now the little girl was an orphan. I hope that little one is cared for by a good family. She doesn't deserve all of this, no one does.

28 June 2002

Woke up this morning feeling grateful for a lot of things. Family, good health, financial stability and for the air in my lungs. Always make time to just breath and be grateful. Remember to also make time to listen to yourself.

5 July 2002

Sindi came back to school with her English test results and she got a 78%. Mamma was really happy and I was too. Proud of that little popeye.

I didn't read much afterwards but I felt somewhat at ease, like reading her words was as if she was talking to me in person.I felt a sense of comfort like she was right there with me and I was assured that from reading this I'll get all the answers that I need.

***
Made my own breakfast today seeing that Sindi was not touching the stove ever again. I made myself toast again and Rooibos tea and waited for Sindi to finish getting ready so that she can drop me off.

"Ready to go?" She asked and I nodded and we left.

On our way to school we were jamming along to Mthunzi's 'Ngibambe La' just to start our week on the right foot and also to help Sindi forget about her break up and we almost blew the speakers out once we got to school and we caught almost everyone's attention.

"I'll see you later" I told Sindi and made my way into the courtyard still dancing along to the music in my head.

I found Mak sitting on the grandstands watching the soccer team practice.

"Hey you" I smiled as I sat next to him and he smiled back but I knew him too well. I knew that smile was hiding something. Lately Mak hasn't been himself and I could tell that something was wrong. But he hasn't said anything and it's starting to annoy me because I knew that if the roles were reversed he would've forced it out of me. I wish he could trust me enough to vent to me.

"How was your weekend" he asked

"Fine, I guess" I replied. If he wasn't going to tell me what was going on then I wouldn't either.

Is that petty of me?

"Come on I know you Melo, something's up, what is it?"

"Not if you tell me first"

"I'm okay, I'm doing just fine"

"Then I'm fine too"

Mak rolled his eyes and rubbed his chin, a sign that he was frustrated.

"I just had a bad weekend, family drama thats all"

"I know that you're lying to me...*sigh* whatever it is that's bothering you Mak, I just wish you could tell me. I hate being put in the dark like this"

"Just let it go Melo" he yelled and walked away. While he walked away I noticed a limp not because he hurt one of his feet or anything, the issue was by his torso because he kept on clutching to it while walking.

I hadn't noticed that the soccer team and their 'cheer squad' was staring at me after the altercation that happened.

I walked away into the girls bathroom and rinsed my face off as I let out a huge sigh and stared at myself in the mirror. That walk definitely meant that something was wrong. This time I wasn't going to let it go, I was going to force it out of him.

At break Mak was nowhere to be found and I presumed he was still mad after what happened so I decided to spend break in the library and do some work just to get my mind off things.

I found a book with short stories in it and read it while I ate my lunch which was a chicken mayo sandwich I made from the leftover chicken from last night's take aways. The book wasn't too bad. The only issue was it was waaayyy too detailed and described a lot of things unnecessarily. When break was over it was time for physics and Mak chose to sit at the back instead of next to me today.

He must still be mad at me. Heck I'm still mad at him too

***
Today we weren't so busy in the cafe and that was a relief. I used the time to do my homework while Siya was on her phone as usual. She was giggling to herself and I could tell she was blushing so I instantly knew that she was talking to a guy.

"Who's making you smile like this?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Nobody in particular"

"Well what's happening between you and this nobody in particular?"

"We're just talking that's all, well I guess now you could call it vibing."

"This person must like you, talking to you everyday like this, that's a rare sight from a guy unless he finds an interest in you."

"You really think he could like me?"

"Why else would he be talking to you like this. You barely put your phone down her at work, I can't imagine at home. How long have you guys been talking?"

"A month"

"Is it someone I know?"

"Ya I guess you can say that"

I thought about it and once it dawned to me who it could be I could not believe it.

"Is it Luniko?" I asked and her eyes went wide and she bit her lip. That's when I definitely knew that it was him. So was this the reason why he went to see her, to confess his feelings or something. Okay Melo I think you're reading into it too much...

"Why didn't you just tell me" I exclaimed.

"We...I didn't know how to bring it up, it's not like you'd care anyway, last time I checked y'all had a bitter situation going on"

"Well yes until Friday, we basically put all that happened in the past and moved on like it never happened"

"Wait Friday? What was happening Friday?"

"He invited me to one of his shoots and then we hung out afterwards"

"Why didn't he tell me you guys were hanging out"

"I don't know you should ask him that, I...I just can't believe none of you could tell me what was going on, I feel so stupid now"

"What's that supposed to mean Melo, what are you trying to say?"

"You Guys couldn't have given me a heads up, when we were friends we were a trio but you guys are behaving as if it was nothing. Do you know how this situation affects me"

"Why do you sound jealous"

"I'm not jealous okay Siya, I'm just disappointed that as my friends or you at least could've told me what was happening. I thought we were best friends and that we told each other everything"

"Ever since you've been going to that private school you're just a different person. You don't even have time for this friendship anymore. I don't even understand why you mad that I didn't tell you when it's quite evident that me and you have drifted apart. *sigh* Now if you'll excuse me, I have tables to serve"

Oh now she wants to serve tables...