The Emotional Mess [SLOW UPDATES]

11.

Prerna Dixit:

My alarm rang, it was 4 pm. My mom was shouting at me for sleeping without having lunch. You can say I primarily woke up due to that then the alarm.

Maa(mom)-"Kyun bina khaaye so gayi? Uske baad uthti bhi nahi hai. Agar nahi khaana toh boldo nahi banati. Jab dekho tab nakhre"

(Why did you sleep without eating? You don't even wake up. If you don't wanna eat I wouldn't have made. Always you act pricey)

Prerna-"I didn't even know what you made for lunch! I just felt sleepy so slept. Now I have to go out."

Maa-"Abhi khake jaao. Rajma Chawal banaye hai" "Now eat and leave. I have made Rajma Chawal"

Wow! I love Rajma Chawal but I didn't wanna have lunch this late especially now I have to meet Aditya. I will definitely bloat by eating one spoon and I don't need to look more fat than I already am. Atleast without eating I won't have a bloated stomach unlike me having chawal and getting bloated af.. I won't even stop at one spoon.. He doesn't need to have more reasons to hate me actually laugh at me.

Maa- "Kahan kho gayi?" "Where you lost?"

Prerna-"I don't want to eat. I am getting late. So let me get ready"

She stared at me in disappointment probably regretting to have me. But I will worry about it later as there is a bigger worry infront of me. Clothes!!

I have no idea on what to wear.
I didn't want to be overdressed but at the same time wanted to be put together.

I took this red top out and decided to wear it. It low-key looked pretty. I wore it and fuck!!

It actually fitted me showing all my rolls making me look unflattering af. There was no way I could wear this and embarass myself even more.
I searched more and finally found my top for the day which was baggy and did the best in disguising my unflattering ugly body.

I wore jhumkas and applied kajal on my eyes. I looked presentable enough. I hope he likes me in this?

(Why do you care if he likes you or not? Also why did you specially get ready just to meet him at the park in your own society? Trying too hard to impress him!?)

Obviously no! I just don't want him to notice my flaws.

(Ma'am it's the most noticeable thing about you. There's no way he hasn't noticed it already he must have joked about it too)

Well, that was true but I hope he is atleast indifferent towards it. I glance at my phone and saw its already 4:45 not wanting to be late, I quickly grab my note books along with my science textbook since he had doubts in chemistry.

Park is a really weird place to study I admit but it is better than our house. I rush out of my home not before looking in the mirror and smiled to myself and then saw my mom coming towards me and saying:

"Your face is so pretty you would look so much better if you lost weight. Like those bollywood actresses"

Those words hit like thorns but I didn't have any energy to argue so I nodded and left. It hurts so much I know I am fat, I see myself everyday in front of the mirror I don't need people to constantly remind about it.