Secrets & Love

Chapter 23: Avalon

TW:

MENTION OF ABUSE/SEXUAL ABUSE

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I watched as Asher flipped the pancakes over. He seemed to be pretty good at cooking, but not as good as Josh's father, but he was funny, standing over there in his gray sweatpants from the previous night, making jokes to lighten a mood from inside.

"Are you ready to talk?" he asked, handing me a stack of pancakes.

"About what?" I stared at the plate he had handed me.

"You showed up here at 4 am, crying. I just wanted to know if you're okay after what you said at the-" he trails off.

"What did I say at the party?" staring at him blankly, he realized Josh never told me.

"I was joking around, and was a little drunk myself," his face went into a worried place. I've never seen him like this. "I said something stupid about your flinching and you answered with...."

"With what Asher?" I calmly say, realizing the guilt he has for saying anything at all. This has me worried, how much did my unfiltered self say?

"Your uncle."

"Oh- oh god," I hid in my hands. Did I really say that?

"Hey, it's okay," he comes closer to me, taking me into his arms.

"Josh never told me. He never told me anything but you put something in my drink," I laughed at the thought of him putting something in my water.

"What is it?" he asked with a small amount of joy in his voice.

"You're more open to me then Josh," I look at him with a small smile in my eyes, remembering our moment just a few hours ago. "Why wouldn't he tell me that though? And why did he-." My words trail off at the memories of watching Josh reading something from my journal.

"Do what?" his voice was soothing in my ears, "Ava, what did he do?" he said once more after I stuttered for a moment.

"His mom went through my things, I heard them through the bathroom door, and when I walked out.. It was him going through my journal." I looked away hiding the tears starting to form in my eyes, "I trusted him. I trusted that home because I never had a home like that."

"What was your home like? With your uncle I'm guessing."

"The bruises that cover my body were from him. The flinching was caused by him," I turned to look at him, he had tears forming in his eyes as he stared up and down. "My parents died in a car crash when I was 6, they left everything to me. My uncle saw it as an opportunity to take everything in my name. As well as me. He spent all my money on drugs, alcohol, anything he could until it was all gone. That's when the hitting started. And not only was it the hitting, and the kicking. He used my body. He allowed his drunk friends to use my body."

I took a minute to breathe, allowing the tears to flow slowly. I have never said this out loud before. Really there was no one to tell, as I was stuck in there. In that place.

"For 10 years, I was stuck there. I never left, never saw the outside, just stuck in that run down, smelly house. It smelt of cigarettes and beer. It was basically caked into the rotting walls and floors, along with anything fabric."

"Ava, I am so sorry," he finally said after a few moments of silence. His eyes started to turn red and puffy from his own tears.

"Don't be, please," my hands comforted him by holding them between my own, "I've never told anyone that, not even Josh. He knew something happened but didn't know what. But even before that, there was no one to tell." I could feel his hands shaking in my own hands, this could be hard for anyone to hear as hard as it is to talk about.