FOREVER. Do You Remember? [Book 1]

chapter 3 : A Dream or a Nightmare

SAI

he's not responding, I tried to shake his shoulder "babe wake up. open your eyes. this isn't funny" I saw hot and red liquid on his white tuxedo. it's a bath of blood, he's losing too much blood.

tears are already streaming in my eyes. fear is eating me, fear of losing him. fear of being alone without him.

I try shouting but no words are coming from my mouth. I tried to get up to ask for help, but my body won't listen to me. I desperately ask for help.

"dwayne! stay with me baby, don't you dare leave me. we vow to be together forever. remember?" I tried calling his name again but he can't hear me. oh no! he's slowly fading "shit! dwayne! dwayne! dwayne!" I cried & cried.

don't leave me. I tried holding him tighter. please come back. dwayne. as I'm losing my strength. I hear someone's calling my name. but idk where that sounds coming from, but this voice sounds familiar.

"mom? kuya?" help. please help me, I'm begging you. please help me. dwayne's fading, huh? where's dwayne. dwayne? dwayne?! where are you?!

"sai! sai! sai!" this voice, as I desperately try to find where that voice's coming, I suddenly feel a prick in my head. I'm also losing my strength but someone's calling me.

but who? please is any body in here?! I don't want to be alone. mom. dad. kuya. ate. dwayne. this is not funny at all. where are you. help me. is the last word that escape from my mouth before I start losing my consciousness.

huh? it's so dark. where am I, am I dead? then a sudden pain in my chest is killing me & I start having a hard time breathing. "sai! sai! sai!" that voice again. I can hear familiar voices & theirs a hint of panic & fear in their voice.

"sai! you wake up this instant, stop joking around! this isn't funny anymore stop making mom worry" I jolt & open my eyes widely "goddammit sai! you're about to kill us!" that angry voice "kuya james?" I ask dumbly "yes! sai!. hello to mother earth" he said sarcastic

I tried to sit but I felt like my body doesn't have any strength left in my body. I looked around "why am I here? & what are you doing in here mom & kuya?" my mom hug me so tight. wait "mom? where's dwayne?" my family looked at me with pain expression

"sai sweetie" my mom said a hint of sadness in her voice. I also looked at my twins & they averted their gaze. "what's happening?" I asked, then reality struck me hard.

"oh.. yeah.. dwayne's not with us anymore" if this is a nigtmare please wake me up, it's painful.

dwayne died. it's already been 3 years.

my brother cough to break the silence "sai" .. I looked down & notice the necklace. the oath ring that dwayne gave me. I touch it & mutter "sorry for making everyone worry about me"

I felt the same pain in my chest 3 years ago. the pain & agony of losing the one that you love. the person who become your everything is no longer in here.

I tried not to cry, it's already troublesome for my family if I try to cry "sai, you know you can cry if you want, we were so worried about you. mom rushed in your room when she hears you shouting dwayne's name." my older twin brother kenji said.

"yeah, you almost gave us heart attack. especially mom." shin said. my quiet younger brother.

I looked at everyone & force a smile. forcing isn't my hobby, fake smile isn't my forte but I have to, don't wanna make them worry about me every year on dwayne's de.. dea.. death anniversary.

I choked on my own word. I hug my mom "I'm so sorry mom." my mom slightly pat my back & hugs me tighter. oh I so freaking love this motherly hug, I feel safe, I never feel alone in this battle.

my brother pat my head softly "baby you should prepare now, you know it's dwayne anniversa-." I cut my twin brother next word "yes kuya. I know. cause I saw Dwayne in my dream again." I saw how he died in my arms.

I look away still holding my necklace "same dream, we're in the garden. did the things that dwayne knows how to make my heart skip a beat. he knows how I love surprises."

it's painful. its a bitter sweet memory, I suddenly felt a choked again cause I've been controlling my tears, not letting it to fall

"his death was also a big blow." my dad mutters, didn't realize dad is here in my room. "baby" dad sit beside me & hug me tighter.

oh God I don't want to cry. I don't want to cry. please. but my tears betray me, I cried in my dads arm. he didn't say a word, but he knows how painful it is for me.

I cried like a child. I can hear my own hiccup. it's painful. it's too painful, dwayne you're so unfair why did you leave me. how about our oath of forever.

as I calm down, I ask my family to give me a minute to prepare & be alone. hours later of preparation. we arrive in the garden that dwayne parents create for him.

he had that tragic accident. my family & dwayne's family decided to move in states but his family decided to live in California & my family lives in New York where I continue my studies these past years.

now I'm a graduating senior highschool on one of the most prestigious academy here in states. I plan to study in college in the Philippines again

when I was in the Philippines I tried so hard to move on, as time goes by I realize that "letting go of someone is hard. but moving on is harder." that's why my parents decided to move in states.

oh yeah dwayne loves garden & he told me that he never appreciate the beauty of any garden until he met me, he told me I'm the reason why he suddenly loves garden, cause he believes that the garden is our bridge that connects us.

I forgot to tell you that he met me in his mom garden twice. haha that memory gives me a tingling sensation of pain & happiness cause we share a special memories in the garden & I witnessed his death in a garden.

I ask my parents if I could take a stroll around the garden. as I look in my surroundings I notice a blue butterfly.

"a big beautiful blue butterfly"
I gasp! when I notice something or I rather say 'someone', a figure of a boy standing beside the butterfly.

I can't see his face, he's facing the other side. I know who owns that back.

my eyes suddenly gets blurry because of my tears. a hiccup escape from my mouth.

"dwayne!" flashback of his smile & laughs rings in my mind. dwayne you're so unfair.

I remember everything. the day that I met Dwayne everything is like a play in a movie, it flashed back all of the happy, sad, painful & unforgettable memories that we share

***
is he really did?
or just an illusion?

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