Different Playing Fields (August Alsina)

Chapter 19: Fix It Jesus

Chapter 19

Fix It Jesus
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August

"Thanks bruh, I appreciate it." I tol' anotha nigga that came by ta buy some old shoes off me.

I been hustlin' all day ta scrape some of this money up wether that mean me sell in' some old close and shit or sellin' what little bit of weed I had left. I'm still three hundred short, but I think I ca scrape that up tamorrow so I'm gone try not ta stress it, and in the mean time go check on Shae.

I got all my shit tagetha, and headed ova ta her crib. I know she gone be mad that I'm drivin' again, but I jus' find it cute when she show a nigga she care. I slowly made my way up the steps, and down the hall towards her door. I knocked, and waited a lil minute, but soon enough she showed up. I immediately hobbled in, and pulled her into a hug, and then gave her a quick kiss.

When I finally took notice of her face I immediately got in defense mode. Her eyes were red and you could definitely tell she been cryin' through her glasses. I need to know who hurt her, and I needa know now.

"Baybeh, what's goin' on? Whatchu been cryin' foe?" I asked her while I pushed her doe close.

When I turned back aroun' she was walkin' ova ta her couch. She sat down in front of it, and started movin' around piles of papers, and money she had all spread out on it. I looked closa ta some of the papers and saw that they was bills, and what not. They was all sorted out perfectly wit' a certain amount of money on them, but Shae kept moving things around jus' ta put 'em back in the same spot.

"O'Shae, answer me." I tol' her, befoe puttin' my hand on hers ta make her stop movin' thangs aroun'. "what's wrong witchu baybeh?"

She looked up at me foe jus' a second, but I ca see the pain in her eyes. She looked back down and started movin' thangs aroun' again wit' her free hand. "Nothing, nothing's wrong. I'm just tired, and stressed out with all these bills." She shrugged. "What are you doing here any way, for the billionth time-- you shouldn't be driving."

"Don't try and change the damn subject O'Shae. You know that ain't the problem, now tell me what's really wrong witchu baybeh."

"It's not your problem Aug, it's okay."

Nah she jus' makin' me mad. I grabbed her arm, and pulled her up off the ground, and ova ta stand in front of me. She always trynna act okay, and shit when stuff is wrong wit' her. She needa be real wit' me right now. I done realized she got that problem of not wantin' otha folks ta worry 'bout her, but that jus' ain't gone work when she wit' me. I care too much 'bout her.

"As long as you my girl, all yo problems is my damn problems do you understand that O'Shae? If you hurtin' that affect me too, and I needa know what's wrong so I ca fix it." I tol' her straight up.

Her eyes were wellin' up wit' tears, but she wouldn't let 'em fall, she kept tilting her head back ta make sho' they ain't fall. I hate that she always trynna be so damn strong and never just lettin' shit out.

"Shae, you ain't gotta hol' it in. Its okay ta cry ma." She looked up at me, and shook her head befoe breaking down in tears.

I grabbed her and pressed her ta my chest not knowin' what else ta do. She was cryin' hard. All her tears had my shirt super soaked and I'm wonderin' what could've been so bad that got her cryin' like this. Better not have shit ta do wit' Rah.

"Baybeh talk ta me, what's wrong?"

"She--she's n-not my m-mom!"

"What?"

She pulled away from me, and wiped under her eyes and looked up at me again. "She's not my mother August. They lied to me."

Shocked ain't the damn word. O'Shae's mama ain't her real mama? Nah how did this shit come about, and why the fuck is someone jus' now lettin' her know. That's years of her life that's been a damn lie.