Summer camp • Boyxboy

Bisexual

Benji

I was sobbing at the river
I never thought I'd come to this

"Dude! Are you good?" I hear Maliki ask. I look up and he has a concerned look on his face. I wiped my tears and stand up.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"Really? Because you didn't look fine." He said sarcastically.

"It's nothing man, I don't want to talk about it," I said. He nodded.

"Alright, well, do you need a place to go to, or something? I know we kinda got off on the wrong foot, but I really think you need a friend, and I'd like to be it," he said, shrugging.

I nodded.
"Yes, thank you. And I'd like to start over with you too." I said, sticking my hand out.

He took it and shook it, and we both laughed.

"Alright dude, lets go to my cabin, I'll make you something, maybe try and cheer ya up," he said, and we started walking towards his cabin.

                              ————————-

His cabin was the same as mine, nice looking, and I'm assuming the same layout.

I walked in and sat at the white table, and he went to the fridge.

"Whatcha like?" He asked.

"Anything , really." I said. He nodded.

"Alright, I'm Boutta get you some hot chocolate, some cheer me up cookies," he said, laughing at himself.

It was nice, having a friend.
It was strange because I didn't think of Jorge as one.
And now that we've kissed I don't know what I think of him as.
I suppose I just need time.
But I'll never accept myself for liking him.

Maliki placed the mug of hot chocolate , and packed cookies in front of me.

"Now, are you gonna quit being a big baby and open up," he said, drinking his own mug of hot chocolate.

I rolled my eyes.
"I can't even open up to myself , man, it's like I don't even know me," I said.

He nodded, and placed his mug down.
"This about that Abby chick?" He said.
I shook my head.
"No. Well. Kinda. Not really." I said .
He raised his eyebrows.
"Was that supposed to be an answer?" He asked.
"Well she's apart of it, but no , it's about someone else." I said, he nodded.

"Ohh, well, who is it?" He asked.
"I don't feel comfortable saying, but they have my head all screwed up. One second they are my friend, next second I'm having- Uh- wet dreams about them," I said. He partially choked on his drink.

"What now," he said.
"Uh, nothing. But one second we're friends, next we're kissing, I mean they are just so damn intoxicating. I can't get them off my mind," I said.

"Why do you want to?" He asked.
I paused.

"They aren't supposed to be on my mind. I'm not supposed to like them,"

"Why aren't you 'supposed' to?" He asked.

"Because I'm not like that! Well, at least I didn't think," I said.

"I think I'm missing something here," he said, taking a pause," describe them for me," he said .

"Why? I don't see how that he-"
"Man just do it," he said, cutting me off.

"Ugh, okay. Um, pale? Brown eyes, curly short blond hair, cute nose, cute height, he has a nice taste in fashion, and music to be honest," I said, and he had a grin plastered on his face from ear to ear.

"What?" I said.

He shook his head.
"What's his name man?" He asked.
I shrugged
"Jorge,"
And then I realized what had just happened.

My eyes went wide.
"How did you- how did- what just happened?" I asked, confused on how I just gave myself away.

"It wasn't me man, it was all you. So how come jorge had you crying by a river?" He asked.

"Well, uhm. I kissed him, and Abby, you know the girl I- whatever, saw us," I said.

"So you ran to a river and cried?" He asked, genuinely confused.

"I don't know. I'm confused. I don't know if I'm gay, or if I'm straight, I don't want to be gay. I was raised that was wrong and I can't see it as right. I don't want to be gay- I don't w-want to," I said, and I didn't even realize I started to cry.

"Aw man, don't make me cry don't do it," he said , coming in and hugging me.

I hugged back, and I just cried into him.

We let go and he looked at me.

"It's okay to be gay benji. And maybe you're not gay, maybe you're bi," he said.

"Bi?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah, it means you are attracted to both men and women, which there's absolutely nothing wrong with. But what is wrong is when you like two people at the same time that you're trying to Persue." He said .

I nodded
"What do I do then?" I asked.

"Take then both on a little date, see who you like more, and then let the other one down gently." He said.

I nodded.
"Thank you so much Maliki, I think I'm going back to my cabin now, but I'll see you later," I said, and then waved goodbye.