Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic

Questioning

This chapter will be in Nicks POV.

That same night:

I stood outside Charlie's door wanting to give him a hug. "Well I guess I better get going." I turned away feeling sad. "Bye Nick" he waved. As I pulled away and headed for my house I couldn't push away the knot I had forming in my stomach. When I got home I raced upstairs and immediately jumped in the shower. I turned it on and let the hot water wash over me. My mind flashed to having Charlie pinned with my hand over his mouth. My cheeks flushed at the thought and I turned off the shower and dried off. I looked up in the mirror to see someone I don't recognize. I put on my pjs and laid in my bed tossing and turning. Finally I grabbed my phone and pulled up Twitter to distract myself. A notification popped up. Charlie had posted a picture of a movie he was watching. I exited out of Twitter and sat up in bed. Charlie and I have been hanging out so much recently. We have practically been doing everything together. We always go to the cafe for an after school snack before driving home. He orders a coffee, black, with a chocolate croissant. I think back again to my hand over Charlie's mouth and I groan. I wanted to kiss him. I lay back and put the pillow over my head and let out another groan. Everyone wants to kiss their friend at some point right? I mean this isn't the first time I've felt like this. I shake my head I know it's different. 3 weeks ago I was heart broken after my girlfriend of a year broke up with me for another guy. Now here I am and all I can think about is Charlie. They way his hair curls into his face and how much I want to tuck it behind his ear. I've always found guys attractive but I've never had a crush on one before. I pulled my phone back out and type in the search bar Am I Gay. A million quizzes and articles pulled up. I clicked on the first one I see. "Have you shown a special interest in a friend of the same sex?" "Do you find yourself staring at them?" "Would you kiss them?" I finished the quiz. Congratulations your at least a little gay 62%. I just had a girlfriend how can I possibly be gay? But Charlie... the way he looks at me gives me a knot in my stomach. That first day I brought him home, I just felt a need to be close to him. He looked so sad. Slowly over the last few weeks I started to become more affectionate. A tap on the shoulder, a nudge here and there. Today I couldn't help but hug him. I just feel this overwhelming urge to touch him. I would have kissed him if we would had stayed in that position any longer. I need to talk to someone who would understand.

I went down stairs and knocked on Darcy's door. "Nick it's 3am what do you want" she wiped the sleep out of her eyes. "Darcy I need help" I looked down. "Please" I begged. She nodded and headed to the kitchen to turn the kettle on. We sat down at the table in silence until the tea was done. "Okay Nick, what possible reason do you have for waking me up this early." "I want to kiss Charlie" I mumbled. Darcy sat her tea down and grabbed my hand. "Okay... you want to kiss Charlie what's wrong with that?" "But Darcy, I'm, I'm straight" tears started to form in my eyes. "Oh Nick" she sighed. "Wanting to kiss Charlie is a little gay". She chuckled. "DARCY!!" I whimpered "Listen I'm just saying have you ever consider maybe your not completely straight?" "Sexuality is a spectrum. I don't believe there are a lot of people in this world that are 100% straight. And most people will question at some point." "Yeah.." I sighed. "Tell me about Charlie, what makes you want to kiss him?" I took a sip of tea and felt my face heat up. "I mean when he looks at me, he gets this look in his eyes and I could get lost in them forever. When he smiles at me a knot grows in my stomach. He has this stupid curl that always falls in his face and I want to reach out and push it out of the way. When I'm next to him it's never close enough. Talking to him is the highlight of my day and I feel like I could just sit with him and be happy." I look down embarrassed. Darcy grips my hand tighter. "Nick I know this is hard for you and you don't have to figure to out now, but I at least think you have a crush on Charlie." "Yeah, I think so too." "Are you going to do anything about it?" She shot me a small smile. "Not right now, I'm just going to keep hanging out with him see how it goes." I wiped the tears out of my eyes. "Thank you, for not judging me" "of course, I mean I'm literally gay nick. You can always come to me about this. Just maybe not at 3am next time." "Yeah" I laughed "I'll have a proper full on gay crisis durning normal hours next time" and with that we both went back to bed. I looked at picture of Charlie one more time. A crush.. yeah I definitely have a crush on Charlie spring.