Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic

Cold Hard Floor

Charlie's POV:

Ben leans in and I can feel his breath against my lips. "We can't" he mutters pulling back. "Not while your with Nick." I slide down against the wall tears streaming down my face. "You don't understand" I whimper. He doesn't understand. I'm in love with two boys at the same time, my heart is pulling me in every direction. I'm caught between my wants and my needs. I want Ben, I've always wanted this. But I need Nick. Ben kneels down in front of me. "I may not understand exactly what your feeling, but I understand better than you know." Tears are forming in his eyes now. "I watched you fall out of love with me for months before I actually lost you. I watched you fall for another and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I finally have you back and it's not even for real. You have no idea how painful it is to parade around someone who isn't mine to have." He chokes the last words out. We stay here looking at each other for what feels like a thousand years. "I didn't know you wanted me still." I shrug, breaking the tension. "Are you kidding me Charlie?" He shouts dropping further on his knees. "I begged you not to leave me, to give me another chance. I never wanted to lose you, I just didn't know how to love you." He places his head in his hands and weeps. "What do you want me to do?" I kneel down next to him placing a hand on his back. "Marry me for real." He looks up. His tear stained cheeks and red eyes are all it takes to shatter my heart into a million pieces. "I.. I.." I stutter trying to find the right words. My phone rings and Ben gets up to grab it off the couch. "It's your boyfriend" he chuckles clearly in a delirious state. I answer the phone. "Hey babyyyyyy, I miss youuuu" Nick slurs into the phone. "He's drunk" I whisper to Ben. He shrugs and walks away giving me privacy. "Hey baby. It's late can I call you in the morning" I ask unsure of how to handle this. "Okayyyyy, I love you" "I love you too" I hang up the phone. "Done with your boyfriend" Ben spits clearly angry now. "I just need time to figure this out." I sit down next to him leaning on his shoulder. "Okay" he breathes. "I'm not going to push you, but you at least have to make a decision by the time the wedding comes around okay?" He places a kiss on my forehead. "I'm gonna head out, I think I should sleep in my own bed tonight" he grabs his keys and heads for the door. "Ben wait" I place a hand on his shoulder. "Just sleep in the other room, you've been drinking" "so have you" he mumbles and heads for the stairs. I slide down the wall too confused to move. "Who do you love?" Plays through my head until I drift off to sleep on the cold floor.

"Char wake up" I blink my eyes slowly, the coldness of the floor reminds me of where I am. "Nick" I jump up spastically looking around for Ben. I find the table where his keys where and they are gone. I pull out my phone, it's 10am. He had to be back at base by 9am. I let out a sigh of relief. "Everything okay?" Nick asks jerking me out of my thoughts. "You look like you seen a ghost." "Just hungover" I lie grabbing my head. "I didn't know you were drinking last night" he shakes his head.  "Why were you drinking by yourself?" He grabs my hand and smiles. I shake my head trying to remember the events of last night. The last thing I remember Ben and I had just finished watching Young Royals and he went to leave but I asked him to stay. I can't remember what happened after that. "Let's go sit down, I brought breakfast" he smiles at me dragging me to the couch.

Nick's Pov:

I take out the containers and hand one to Charlie. I glance over to the table beside him, there's 2 shot glasses out. Why didn't he correct me when I said he was drinking alone, and who was he drinking with? These questions swirl my head. I look around the room, there are pillows and blankets everywhere. "Thank you love" Charlie leans over and leaves a kiss on my cheek. I nod my head and take a bite pushing the thoughts out of my mind. It can't have been Ben, he would do that to me after everything he did to him. "I hope your not doing anything for Christmas" I smile excited for my plan. "I was planning on watching the grinch but that's it" he shrugs. "I booked us a cabin to spend Christmas in the snow.. just us" I hesitate. "Nick you shouldn't have" he beams. "I just thought with the whole fake wedding and all.. we just needed to get away." I return the kiss on his cheek and he blushes. "I couldn't agree more" he stares off into space. I can't help but question what's going on behind those beautiful eyes. "I'm going to head to the bathroom real quick, save me a pancake!" I yell rushing to the bathroom. I pull out to text Darcy.
     N: Thank you! He wants to go to the cabin for Christmas!
D: I told you!
I look down at my phone smiling. There's no way he's still in love with Ben.

Charlie's pov:

Nick rushes off to the bathroom and my phone dings as if on a timer.
B: can I see you tomorrow?
     C: sure, for wedding stuff?
B: I want to talk about last night. I have an idea.

Last night? Idea? The words play over and over in my head and it all comes rushing back. Fuck. I mumble.
     C: okay come over at 7pm?
B: I'll bring dinner! 😘

Nick returns from the bathroom and I shove my phone in my pocket switching it to silent. He turns the tv on. "Vampire diaries?" He pleads. I nod my head laying my head on his shoulder. It's okay to love them both, I did rings through my ears. I look over at Nick and guilt fills through my body.