Part: 11 In my thoughts, sincerely

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Cold thoughts

Rotting roses
Wilting willows
Winter cold spots
On my pillows
Laundry fresh in the windows
Leggings damp from rain splotches
Old artwork from paints and brushes
Silent skies
Blurry eyes
Snowflake flurries
Got no worries
Passing by my memories
Christmas carols
lit up trees
Airplanes flying, family crying
Falling  back from
those past moments
Live in pictures
Live in sonnets
Of which this poem is very much not
Existing in digital ink
Stone and feather
Chain and knot
Sweaters sewn and fuzzy socks
Squishy boots, unpopular stars
Hallmark pictures
And hot chocolate bars
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2:33am daylight savings 11/5/2023
Record Scratch

Friendships are hard
Friendships are tough
Sometimes their smooth
Sometimes their rough
Through learning and nuonce
Another bites the dust
Catty meows and fake judge bows
Simple greetings deep cut vows
Broken glass
Broken base
Record scratch
music played
But keep it on
Play a nice tune
Each scratch is an adventure
Something new to shape you.
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11/6/2023 3:15
Lying memories

Grasp the heart of configuration
Fixations of imagination
Destinations clear to reach
Breathe out memories
Innocence and entropy exist
In arrogant symphony
of jumping off
My ecstasy in twisting
Nervous knots to squeeze
Restlessness and violent seeds planted gardened inside of me
Hardened blocks cover my coughs
Of strangled laughs and silent clots
Boiling up and huffing out
Frustration flushes flesh about
Embarrassed eyes
And hushed cries
And silly little lies we tell ourself
Negative talks no not the thought
Just stories for me 
Existing In
Thee
Locked up in my memories
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Found

Family.
Love
Consider the people of
Helping me up
I never told them too
Smiling with me
When others have refused
Looking for me,
when lost in the crowd
Never prompted,proded, persuaded
They yell when I sing loud
Abrupt in admiration
Hugs of pure elation
I have found forever friends
My family destination
Vacation from blood
Thicker emotion
Strangles my soul
Trapping commotion
And all the old triggers and tears subside
When I find myself with true friends finally after 20 years of searching, A true army by my side
Appearing from skies
From misty haze
Covered my eyes
Early morning rink fog
And walks on rainy days
Hiding in a corner overwhelmed by sororital praise
Movie nights
Joke insights
Bring back the light of day
In my eyes
In the glow
I can see now
Now I have
Hope. 
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