Part 41: Not Again

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4/20/2024 8:49pm
Crush again
Not Again

No I won't write a poem about this
I just want to go and see how it is
I don't even want anything
I just need a friend
So why are my cheeks flushed whenever I talk to him
I won't tell him about my past but I think I already did
I won't tell him about my last on a ruler on a scale weighing options they all failed
I know what I need, comfort in sighs and pleads
Just sitting there and talking with me
I don't have to worry about creepy remarks
I'll I have to worry about is petty pretentious thoughts and the fucks I don't give
I don't give a crap
And I don't freaking care if he won't like me back
I don't need to say a word cause I don't know if he heard
Doesn't matter either way ok
Im glad I have a friend in you no matter which way
I just hope these tired butterflies would calm down on their race
Someone stop these kindred souls and put me back into my place
Take the blood rushed to my cheeks and push it to my brain
To ask it why in the world after being this hurt would you want to try to
Love again. 
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4/20/2024 9:30pm
Daydream

I like to live in fantasies way more than real life
In daydreams
in book sleeves beyond the realistic rings of strife
Infantilizing poetry exaggerating hidden parts of me
that never get seen
And like a musician I take every emotion I'm given and give it a fantasy
A story to tell
For every crush I'm a mess for every touch I'm under a spell
And for every setback or trip,
I'm hanging onto life without any grip  
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