1/29/2024 / In Uber
Grey skies
Even when the sky is grey it's so many different shades
Crazy how on colder days the snow sticks and stays
sparkles and shines
Stop signs
Growing vibes
Stairs leading no where
Slammed
Metal doors warn
hiding under tapestries of blankets
staying warm
————————-
1/29/2024
5:26pm
I don't know what to do
Don't know what to do
About this deafening song
I hear it shouting my name in the shadows
I hear it calling my name in the fog
I hear it call for my help in the present
And yet I hear nothing at all.
I hear it calling for me in the walls
I hear it asking for me to return
I hear the ground rumble at each new footstep
I can not answer it's yearn
Where should I turn
Where should I go
What should I do
I spent my whole life
Trying to save you
My one true love
Beyond time itself
Skating in circles
Does nothing to help.
I hear the echos of my past when they call out the truth
I feel the pain of my broken bones and spirit
I hear all the abuse
So why?
Why am I still so in love.
With this. This metaphysical nightmare
This chilled, cold, icy physique
When life's but a question of wonder
I wonder till I find you
And your what I seek.
In all of my heartless trials
Doomed revivals, comebacks setbacks
Every rival
I still come back
Can't help but always look back
I fall back to you.
You wrap me in questions.
Too curious to let go
why I'm so distraught without you. Hear me, see me, feel me fight for you.
Without belonging.
Help me see this through.
Without getting caught up in you
and your lies.
your secret dark Magic
and wind me round like a top.
I'm no longer bound to your prop.
The podiums a price sold by love.
So why can't I
Leave them. The fallen, the injured. The broken,
why can't I reject them,
the followers, the lovers, I guided them all to their fault
I can't see the successes
See them at all
blinded by madness and all that befalls
that's why I can't go back no way no nothing i will do
to fall back into you.
Can't fall back into you
Your calling out for help
I know I can't reply
I'm restraining myself to fly too.
Wound up in your fantasy why? And who am I to you
And now
I don't know
What
To
Do.
———————————-
2/1/2024
Bird songs
I used to hear the birds sing in the rain
But lest I've heard them in a while
Summer childhood memories evaporate
Into smog, and dust
Inhale the rust
That once was gold
Silver phone lines
Damp socks
I miss the chirping of the birds
Where have gone away those flocks
Not one sound but the misery of man
Nothing to interrupt
As one walks through the land
Quicksand
where was once moss and dewdrops and
The smell oh the smell of the freshly cut grass
I haven't smelt it since my diet
Last
Childhood fantasies
Memories
Music
I haven't tasted powdered Suger
Since my youth
The festivals of my hometown
Celebrating independence
and this country
in the June air
Humid with laughter, nervous to go on a ride, but now that I've gotten on I feel I'm still waiting in line
When was the last time
I saw a slip in slide.
The summer of my 10th birthday,
I
was covered unapologetically in grass, mud, and bugs. Never worrying of how I'd ever be judged.
The last time I felt
The warmth of a genuine hug?
Whenever the rain falls.
And I'm drowned in
Immodestly
In adult sanctioned
Fun
Will I jump in the puddles
Will I go for a run
Or stay silent with the birds
Fleeting far from who I was
Till there was close to none
I'm programmed to act accordingly
Be wild in
The senseless fog
Never showing the face of youth
Dancing to music
Of silent
Songs
YOU ARE READING
Sophomore soliloquies
PoesiIf you've ever felt burdened by being a sophomore in college your not alone. I'm writing these and posting them as I go along. So we can feel less alone together, in a complicated world, within a song. Please feel free to comment, critique, or ask...
