4/11/2024
12:20
Thought process
I told you to be gentler but you like to see me shake
I told you that I'm insecure you talked about my weight
You pose as loving, sweet and kind
I think your oblivious to what's behind cause I have a sixth sense I feel what's behind your eyes
And mine look away
I'm feeling off wondering did I get lost
While I was looking just fell off it was better when we
Were just friends
Because now there's expectations
Because now I just don't get it
Because now the pain still lingers and I can't tell if I like it.
Is it self harm to still want you when you send alarms what to do a self fulfilling prophecy your screenwriting characters after me the confident asshole pursuing Abby guess she should find herself instead. Instead of giving him
Whatever he says
Damned if I do
It's awkward if I don't
I'm glad schools over soon
So contemplate I won't
It's hard to judge it's hard to tell
But I don't want to tolerate a man who won't treat me well.
——————-
4/11/2024 4:24pm
Disrespected
I can't believe I let you disrespect me
I said no but your always forcing me
Intimidating into finding that realizing my respect was no where to be found
How did I let myself get ignored
Disrespected
Stepped on and used
Prodded and propped like
Someone's own bot
How could I be so stupid
How could he play me like that
How could I lose my grip on reality every time he kissed my forehead
Dead to me
And in my grey blue eyes
Like a wolf on the hunt I'm running away
To the land where I feel most comfortable
Where I can't be his prey
Where no one will give me pain
A lone wolf in the forest
I'll howl at the moon and this
Is how I'll regain my streaghnth
I wanna drop kick his ass
That's not a poem but it's how I feel
It's poetic in its own way
——————————
It stings
4/11/2024 4:28pm
Why do I still feel the pain from last night
When I said stop and you kept going
That's not hot
And that's not ok
Why was I there defending you
When I lay here stung
This is the feeling of being objectified
It's not the feeling of pleasure
This is the feeling of a towel being rwung
When I wanted to be fluffed and dried.
I'm gentle and soft so why'd you force my hand
A tight inescapable grip
A tight clasp keeping me down
From the trauma of my past I asked you to stop
Why didn't you
My stoumach a in knots
How could this be
A childhood star now a washed up celebrity
And mixed in with someone who I thought was sweet and fun. Just fucking using me
That mother fucking son of a gun
YOU ARE READING
Sophomore soliloquies
PoetryIf you've ever felt burdened by being a sophomore in college your not alone. I'm writing these and posting them as I go along. So we can feel less alone together, in a complicated world, within a song. Please feel free to comment, critique, or ask...
