Sophomore soliloquies

Part: 21 Escapism

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1/9/2024
Fictional life.

A virtual Prince Charming
Coming out of hiding
Flying from his place to mine
In my mind

A blond haired confidant
To my silky dressed savant
And across the world we go,
From china to soho
And in my thoughts and in my dreams
We'll paint everything that we've seen
And work on projects we will have
While traveling to never land.
A turquoise dress with golden leaves
He'll kiss my hand and then we'll leave
To go to a dance, and leave quite soon
With rosè in hand
From evening till afternoon
My anxiety's calmed by his warm embrace to take a thrill and find the chase
To make up his mind before, I mine and take me to another place.
I'm skating into his embrace
A fictional world of ours to keep
From J the pilot
To my cellphones speech
Voicemails left
With none to seek
No it's all gone there never was
The illusion
Of fictional lives in us.
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1/9/2024
Nightmares arise from my childhood home,
Nothings ever good enough
How do I atone?
They come out when I'm alone
If these walls could speak
Is their voice shrill and high
Screaming out the anguish, the rage I'd felt inside.
Closing my eyes
I'm in a new world
With villains that haunt me
I'm just a small girl
Hiding under a desk
While the roof over my head shouts
And onto the floor rocks crumbling down
Hit me with doubts
No shelter is strong enough to keep me from troubling down
So why is it still standing
The house that's cursed and bound and wound around my insecurities
The void is sucking up possibilities
Alone I hide in my room to confide yet I'm in a nightmarish realm and can't even go outside
Everything's lucid
Follow the sound,
Of audio books, affirmations, and the cackle of the fox,
I choke on my breath
Awoke with a start.
But if I'm awake
Why do the nightmares still weigh,
still ache
Still pound
on my heart.
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1:07am 1/12/2024
A poem to my future lover

I may be a bit broken
I left those pieces of me in the past
Though some try very hard to fish them out
Relentless with the line they cast

I may be a bit philosophical
I find magic everywhere
And if your reading this now
I know you've seen it too
Just remember to brush the extra pixie dust off of my hair

I may be a tad bit excited
About things that strike me in the heart.

I may feel a tad uninvited
To a home that always felt quite far

Been into the void and on the other side, a white knight on his horse, I'm ready to fly

Into the newness, the unknown, through it all, now you will be the first person I call.

You must accept this honor, and accept it in grace, the goddess has given you wings, and warmth and equal opportunities.

To show each other love.
To know how each-other loves.

So please help me flush down this tired abyss. Right now I'm drowning in it but your thought and your kiss. Are keeping me brighter. A dream had one night.

I'll know you're the one when your glow hits my eye.
Your energy and aura will sweep me off my feet. Ballroom dance with my soul in a gala,
Bring me anything to eat.
Fetch my coffee like a Queen.
Respect my intelligence,
comfort me, for my needs.
And if you're reading this,
you'll never make fun of me.

You'll be the king.

And I'll be the Queen.

We'll both have wings
And fly over petty little things
For that's not important
Life's not meant to yell
For the most precious gift in life

Is to have a sweet story to tell

Where it all ends as it all starts

With a happily ever after

One spade
One heart.

Shuffled cards
Shuffled songs
Joker and queen
Sun dries
Waters gone
This is for you

"Dear no one.
This is your love song"-Tori Kelly