all these things keep swirling around in my head.
they confuse me.
they taunt me.
the thoughts of used to be's and might have been's.
the thoughts of almost were's and have been's.
nothing i do ever seems to ease these thoughts or rid me of them.
they just stay swirling around in my head like leaves in the wind.
they go faster than the speed of light and it's so hard to keep up with them.
why can't i just be free of them?
these emotions of emptiness and loneliness come creeping in when i'm feeling great and they bring me to my knees.
being weak leads to irrational decisions,
irrational decisions leads to crying,
crying leads to overthinking and doing something i'll regret in the morning.
it never leads to anything good for me.
thinking these thoughts and feeling this way has never lead me to anything good.
they have made me do unspeakable things that have left me with angry white lines on my skin.
i feel like a shell, a broken and hollowed-out shell.
sometimes i play a game with myself to see how long i can act okay and my record is four days!
after four days i usually lock myself in my room and ignore the outside world for as long as i can.
don't ask questions,
don't look over there,
don't wonder why things are the way they are,
keep your head down,
keep to yourself.
that's what i've learned.
never stopping,
never going,
always stuck in that in-between place on autopilot.
onandonandon.
waitingwonderingwishingpleadingbeggingscreaming.
whycantyouseeme?
whycantyouhearme?
ithinkimdying.
thoughtssofastinmyheadicantfocusicantsleepicanteat.
pleasehelp.
YOU ARE READING
Behind My Eyes.
Poetrycome pick my mind and stay awhile, make yourself comfortable. it's awfully lonely in here. - inside this book, you'll find five distinct parts: simply me, which tells you almost everything you need to know about me. you, which tells you...
