deserving.

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all the words in my head are swirling around so fast that i can't grab them and comprehend them before another thought comes flying in.

it seems as if everything i try to do to catch them is pointless.

i can't figure out what i want to do and i spend my days stuck in my head thinking.

thinking that maybe i'm just not good enough?

thinking that maybe i'm not deserving of the things that i want.

it's an odd sort of feeling.

they say that we accept the love that we think we deserve.

if i don't accept any love at all, does that mean that i don't deserve love at all?

or does it mean that nobody could possibly love me?

or does it just mean that i have yet to find someone that i think is worth my time?

the swirling thoughts in my head seem to attack me and break me down more and more each day.

i can't figure out what all of this means.

maybe i just don't deserve anything at all?

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