When you get a panic attack | Heeseung

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"You're so late again." Your boss says, her tone a blend of frustration and disappointment. She stands at her office door, arms crossed, tapping her foot impatiently. The rest of the team had already gathered for the morning meeting, and you're only running on borrowed time, acutely aware of the disapproving stares from your colleagues as you enter the conference room.

"I apologize, Ms. Kim, the traffic was worse than usual this morning. I left home early, but there was an accident on the freeway."

"I don't need your explanation, I need you to be on time." She shoots you a glare and you bow apologetically at her.

You're sick and even though you woke up early, you still ended up being late. You silently take your seat, wincing at the headache that has been brewing since you woke up.

You knew that using illness as an excuse would only frustrate your boss further, and you didn't want to push your luck.

Your heart is pounding and your throat is scratchy but all you can think about is work. If you're good enough to be part of the team, if your boss is wondering whether you're truly committed to your job, and if you could prove your dedication.

So, for the rest of the day, you busy yourself with work and even work overtime just to make up for the morning's tardiness. Even during lunchtime, you decide to skip your usual break and continue working, hoping to catch up on the lost time. Your boss's words replay in the back of your mind and it stresses you out.

It's almost ten o'clock in the evening when you finally decide to call it a day. The office is empty when you step out and the world outside feels eerily quiet.

Upon arriving at your apartment, you kick off your shoes and take off your coat, but before you change or eat or rest, you open your laptop to work again. You can't stop hearing those words from your boss; they're eating away at your thoughts.

"Shit..." You run your hands through your hair and breathe heavily. You're stressing out. You're having a panic attack. It becomes overwhelming so, with trembling hands, you reach to call your boyfriend.

"Hey, princess," Heeseung softly says as he answers your call, but when he hears you sniffling and struggling to speak, his tone shifts. "Hey, hey, hey, Y/N, what's going on? Are you okay?"

Your throat is so sore that it's becoming difficult to speak. "I don't k-know what's wrong with me," you manage to say between shaky breaths. "I can't breathe... I'm having a panic attack, Heeseung. I don't know what to do."

"Okay, hold on, princess hold on," You can tell he's concerned but doing his best to remain calm and supportive. "I'm coming home, okay? Try to take a deep breath and think of relaxing things, okay? I just want you to focus on your breathing, can you do that for me?"

You put down the phone and hide your face in your hands while trying to regain control of your breathing. But no matter what you do, the memory of your boss's disapproving words and the stress from work continue to weigh heavily on your mind. The more you try to push them away, the more they persist, like a relentless storm cloud.

Minutes feel like hours before Heeseung rushes through the door, concern etched on his face as he drops everything to be by your side. He kneels down in front of you, gently wrapping his arms around you.

"I'm here, princess," You allow yourself to break down in his arms and feel every bit of the pent-up tension, stress, and emotions pour out. You know no matter how broken you are, Heeseung would always pick up the pieces and hold you together. "You're safe now. I've got you. Just focus on your breathing. In and out, slowly, with me."

"I'm so s-sorry," You let out, clutching his shirt so tightly. "I know I'm not good enough but I'm r-really trying my best, Hee, I'm really trying."

"No, princess, you're more than good enough and you're doing an incredible job. But please don't think about this, okay? Just breathe and let go of those thoughts." When he leans in to press a gentle kiss against your forehead, he pauses. "You're burning."

You blink in surprise, feeling a warmth on your forehead where Heeseung had just kissed you. You touch your skin, and sure enough, you're running a fever. Panic starts to creep back in as you realize that you might be coming down with something on top of everything else. "I... I just-"

"Come here, princess," You let him put his arms under your legs before he carries you to your bed, where he gently lays you down. He tucks you in with care, making sure you're comfortable and warm. "You'll be fine, okay? I'm going to take care of you."

"No... you should rest too. You're tired too." You whisper, your voice still shaky from the recent panic attack.

Heeseung shakes his head gently, a soft smile on his face as he reaches over to brush a strand of hair away from your forehead. "I can't rest knowing you're not feeling well," he says softly. "Besides, taking care of you is my top priority right now. You need me and I'm not going anywhere."

You watch as he makes his way to the kitchen and damps a towel in cold water before he sits next to you and gently places it on your forehead. The cool sensation makes you close your eyes and let out a sigh of relief. "It feels... good."

"I know, princess. You'll feel better soon," He smiles, holding your hand and kissing your knuckles. "Gosh, I was very worried. When you said you couldn't breathe, I thought my heart was going to stop. You know if anything happens to you, I'll never forgive myself."

Tears glisten in his eyes as he speaks, and you reach out to wipe them away with your free hand. "Hey," You whisper through your feverish haze. "I'm right here, Hee. I'm not going anywhere. You saved me again."

You slightly sit up and wrap your arms around him while he buries his face against the crook of your neck.

"I'll always be here for you, princess," He murmurs against your skin, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. "No matter what, I promise I'll never let anything happen to you."

Nodding, you kiss his shoulder and let out a sigh of contentment. It's on these days that you realize you could spend the rest of your life in his embrace, feeling safe and loved.

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