In a Heartbeat (MxM)

Chapter 37

A/N: Birthday update lol. I don't know why this chapter wasn't working out, it was originally supposed to be done a few days ago but I tried reworking it, so it's a bit of a mess but I want to work on the next one already. I'm considering adding music into chapters (and quite possibly naming chapter titles, most likely when I get to the later editing stages), so if you see random old chapter updates, it's nothing plot-related. I have quite the playlist going and I'm slowly sorting them out to be assigned to certain chapters. I probably will write a master list of them as I near the end of this book. Anyways, hope you enjoy some fairly mellow dialogue until the next chapter, hehe. Don't forget to comment, vote, and follow!

Chapter 37

Simon's POV

Sixteen-year-old, pre-rejection Simon probably would've been ecstatic to see Vince's face a mere few inches away from my face. Thirty-two year old, post nightmare Simon was not having it.

Sheer panic, albeit overboard, tore through my body, my senses in complete overdrive as the leftover emotions from that memory carried over from my slumber to consciousness. I could still see, could still smell the blood, could still hear my family's screams and cries as I stared at Vince's eyes in the lamp's light. It took three unbearably silent seconds for me to fully take in the sight of Vince practically straddling over me. He was looking at me with an unreadable expression, or I quite possibly didn't have the capability to even process what kind of expression he had. After all, in retrospect, I've never seen this look before on his face, as most were of malice whenever he looked at me. Concern and worry were never expressions he wore around me.

It was like an out-of-body experience. I could tell I had been screaming, the dryness in my throat burned like wildfire as I let out pained whimpers. The feeling of earthquake-sized tremors wracked my body, and the flood of tears welled near my eyes. I was hyper aware of my heartbeat, wracking against my rib cage like a drum but I wasn't in control of any of it at all.

It's just a nightmare, I kept telling myself, trying to focus on my breathing. In. Out. Just a nightmare.

Vince was on the phone with someone as he slowly scooted away from me, sitting back down to focus on the call. He was staring at anything but my face now with a weird look on his face. I couldn't understand what he was saying, the only thing I could hear was my heart pounding. He seemed on edge, almost nervous. He ran a hand through his hair, and that's when I noticed the scratch marks on his upper arm. Some were fairly deep, blood slowly dripping towards the crease of his elbow.

"D-did I do that?" My voice was scratchy and distorted, I wasn't sure he could even understand me as I pointed a shaky hand towards his arm.

He paused, glancing at me before looking at his arm. Things were starting to become less hazy, as I heard him say instead of replying, "Chase should be here soon."

He was avoiding the question, avoiding everything really. He didn't try to stop the bleeding from his arm, didn't even spare me another glance as I tried to read him. He was acting strange, even as Chase walked into the room. He had shot out of bed like it was on fire, walking with large strides until he sat on the couch, staring straight ahead even as Chase tried to question him.

Vince muttered something incoherent before Chase gave up and asked me what happened. I told him it was a nightmare, answering his questions curtly. He mentioned Aspen's name but I couldn't focus, instead just watching Vince sit there so despondent. And then I noticed his hands shaking. He was staring at them, the blood still unfazed him as he seemed to try and control the slight tremors. He was acting like he had witnessed the nightmare I relived. Which was impossible, unless...he did?

And as Chase went on to check my vitals, I could feel it. He was hurting. Just like when Sarah walked out on him. And as pathetic as it sounded, I just wanted to know if he was alright. He seemed just as scared as I was.