Autobiography of a Legend

An Unwelcome Introduction

More than anything so far, I don't want to write all these chapters.

Everything until now, even the stuff with the Time Twins, has felt like it happened so long ago I know how I feel about them. Which, doesn't even make sense, since it all happened kinda close together. So much of what happens to me all goes down right around the same time. From the minute that I defeated the Overlord up until the day the Time Twins went back in time, it felt like I never got a break from fighting. And then, when Wu was gone, I got a chance to catch my breath. Maybe that's why I know what I think about all of that.

But there's one reason that I don't want to talk about what happened to me lately. I know I have to, since everyone saw what happened to me. Everyone saw what I did when my father came back. You all watched me have the hope inside me beaten down into the dirt. But more than that, I made myself the symbol for helping save Ninjago from him. If I didn't talk about this, I would be cutting out a lot of important stuff. But when I think about it, I don't want to talk about it. And the reason why is because of one person. Her.

Harumi.

Just saying her name hurts. Just thinking about her makes me angry. I haven't hated anyone before. Not like she made me hate her. I don't mean that she did something to make me hate her. I mean that she did everything she could to make me despise her. Everything that happened to Ninajgo, everything that happened to me, it was all because of her. Harumi made sure that no matter what happened, I was hurting in some way. Even when I tried to get away from her, she tried to take my place with my father. I know that, more than Morro, more than Chen, more than the Overlord and Pythor, I hate Harumi more than anything.

And at the same time... I regret what I did to her.

I don't have any issue talking about Harumi. I don't have to think about what I want to say. I don't have to plan this out, or try to write this all down again. I don't even have to really do anything. I just have to start. And it isn't hard to start. And that's the problem.

Everything that Harumi did, was because of me. I can't come up with some reason to say that I wasn't the cause. The entire reason that Harumi did what she did was because... was because of me. If I never let the Serpentine out... if I hadn't been a stupid kid and tried to act like my dad, then her family wouldn't have died. She wouldn't have gone to worship my father. She wouldn't have made all of Ninjago suffer just to make me feel her pain. If I didn't hurt her, then she wouldn't have taken it out on Ninjago.

The others have tried to tell me that it wasn't my fault. They tried to say that she was acting on her own, and I can't be responsible for her actions. I can't let her try to get to me like that. I've tried for a long time to believe that. I've tried so hard to tell myself that what she did wasn't my fault. That the Colossus, the city, my father, all of it wasn't my fault. And I've tried, so long to tell myself that. And I just can't. I can't believe it.

Maybe it's because she tried so long to get in my head. Maybe she just wanted to make me suffer like this. She wasn't content at just bringing my father back. She made sure that I had to watch my friends die. She made sure I watched as they got crushed, right in front of me. She made sure I got to watch the city I'd spent so long protecting get turned into the seat of the Emperor. She did everything to make sure that I knew it was my fault that I had let Ninjago become... that.

Morro had something personal with Wu, and he used me as a vessel to do it. But the thing was, Morro didn't hate me, he hated that I was the Green Ninja. He didn't care who I was, not really. If Kai had been the Green Ninja, he'd have been just as horrible for him as he was to me. At least, that's what I've come to think about. Morro didn't really start to get at me as Lloyd until later on, when he needed me to comply more for his plans. Morro hated the Green Ninja, and I thought the Green Ninja was me.