Miss Grande

Chapter 57: I'd say yes

"Fuck!" I dramatically hit my head against my steering wheel causing the horn to honk and echo through the empty park. I couldn't think, so I stepped out of the car and into the cold.

   After realizing how stupid I was for not opening my mouth and saying something, I had driven to a near by park to collect myself. It hadn't been working well.

I grabbed the giant bear from my back seat and just held it. Part of me wanted to throw it into the duck pond, to just be over and done with this entire situation. Everything was too risky, and I was dumb to believe we could have made this work. Maybe this was a sign that we just weren't meant to be.

As if the universe was telling me that I was an absolute idiot, a duck woke from its slumber on the surface of the lake and flew to me. It freaked me out a little, but I tried to remain calm. Of course, my efforts did nothing and the duck started chasing me. I ran, giant teddy bear wrapped in my arms. Half way across the parking lot seemed a good distance in my opinion, so I stopped. The duck disagreed. We had a momentary stare-off, but the duck ultimately won.

I took my keys from my pocket and locked the door with the button and started walking to Ariana's house. It was only two blocks away, and the adrenaline rush from my duck ambush was enough to keep me warm.

I made it to her house in no time. The streets had been empty, and I managed to make it to her house without coming into contact with anybody. I was probably the only person dumb enough to be out in the February cold, but I had no doubt that her rich neighbors were just as nosy as regular neighbors and were probably watching me from their windows.

I pressed the door bell and immediately felt bad. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be bothering her.

   She opened the door before my thoughts got too far. Her workout clothes were nowhere to be seen. Instead, her layers had been swapped out for a silk pajama set of shorts and a shirt, and her hair was wet. Her eyes were puffy and a little red. She had definitely been crying.

"Fuck," I accidentally said out loud. She looked up at me, actually making eye contact. I didn't know what to say, but I refused to stand there quietly. I didn't get threatened by a duck and walk two blocks just to not speak again. "I just got chased by a duck," was what left my mouth. Idiot.

She looked at me a little concerned before moving out of the way and motioning for me to come in. I was slightly nervous about going into her house, but I knew I had upset her enough for the night. I didn't bother objecting.

"Sorry."

She shut the door behind me and didn't respond.

"I brought you this."

She sniffed a little, and I felt like an asshole for making her cry.

"Sorry about earlier. I- that- we-" None of my words were coming out properly.

She nodded her head towards what I assumed to be her living room, and I followed.

We sat on the couch, plenty of space between us, and I tried again. "I wasn't trying to end it with you. I don't want what we have to end. I've always known that this was risky for you. It was so stupid of me to even let you think that I was going to end it after fighting for you-for us- for so long."

I couldn't look at her anymore because I knew I was going to get distracted. Even with puffy eyes and red cheeks, she was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. I looked down to my hands in my lap and started messing with them.

"It's going to sound stupid, and I'm not sure you'll believe me. When we were in the car, I wasn't trying to end it. I was sitting there, looking at you, and thinking how I was the luckiest person in the world to be by your side. Even after practice, with messy hair and red all over, you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I was so lost in you that I couldn't even put into words. I, uhh, I kinda didn't want to tell you because I wasn't sure if it sounded creepy or weird. We've only been on good terms again for a little while, and I didn't want to-"