[p o e t r y]

Ring(less) By Spring

Suddenly I'm twenty
And my friends
Are renting houses in new towns
They are planning marriages
And booking venues for weddings
Simply put
They are planning their futures together

Everyone I know
And love
Is getting married
Getting engaged
And graduating

And me?
I will go out
Into that world
Alone

Some days
That concept is freeing
Like the feeling
Of your body
Sticking out of
The sunroof
As the car whisks down the road.
Some days
I get to go out
Into the world
On my own
No one to hinder me
No ties
No one who's future mine depends on
No limit
On where I can live
Who I can love
And where I can go
Or serve.
Some days, my singleness
Is liberating
In the most exquisite of ways

But some nights
My sinfulness is terrifying
I'm scared to be alone
In a world I do not know
I'm scared to leave college,
Always have been,
Now I am,
Even more so,
Knowing that my friends
Are planning their lives together
And I may not be a part of that

I've always been scared to graduate
Some nights
It's better
That I get to do that alone
And some nights 
It is
Excruciatingly terrifying
To feel as though
I am the only one
Of all my loved ones
To face this world alone

11/15/22