All The Small Things

100

[Luca POV]

When I was waking up, it was to Jacob shaking me as he sat on the bathroom floor next to me. I opened my eyes and groaned, feeling sick to my stomach. Did I pass out? I couldn't have...
"Fuck! You scared me!" He screamed, hitting me in the stomach with his free hand. Not hard, but in my state, it was hard enough to make me gag and dry heave. I sat up, my back pressed up against the medicine cabinet. I feel little again, but that's not what Dady needs.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Baby, I'm really trying. I'm getting Kaylee to give me the name on where she goes so I can talk to someone. I love you, I don't want to lose you," He reassured me. I glanced down at my left arm and saw Dady already wrapped it in white stuff. Some blood was starting to seep through in some places on it.

"I really want you to get better. I don't like it when you're angry," I said, most likely whining a little.
"I know, Bubba. Neither do I," He agreed, pulling me into his lap. I rested my head on his chest, gently rocking myself.
"My baby, I love you," He whispered, kissing my head and holding me close. He continued to tell me sweet things, comforting me while kissing me all over.
"Let me baby you. Please, let me make it up to you," He eventually pleaded, standing up with me in his arms. I held him with my good arm, trying not to let my hopes get too high up. Dady carried me to the bedroom and sat with me on the bed, whispering all the things he was sorry about and what he loved about me. I just want him like how he used to be. Lovey dovey, happy, and not mad at me all the time.

I ended up falling asleep in the middle of him cuddling and kissing me, and I woke up to him sitting next to me in bed still. When Jacob finally realized I was awake, it was right to him asking for head. When I didn't agree, he got up and went to go do something.

Over the course of the next few weeks, he didn't get better. He didn't ever go see anyone. That's not to day he wasn't trying, I don't know if he was or not. I just know he never actually saw someone. One morning, I woke up, and my pants were almost completely wet. So was the bed. I don't even know why I did it, I haven't wet the bed for months. And not just a few, at least 4. I didn't know what to do about it, I sat and cried since I just couldn't figure out what I needed to do about it. And Dady was at work, so he couldn't even tell me either. But I don't know if he would've helped. Maybe he would've just yelled at me, I don't know. But, I did know I wanted my pants off. Desperately. I stripped them off in a second but didn't put new ones on. Dady's hoodie is long enough on me that it's not a problem. At least, not to me.

I couldn't figure out what to really do, so I took the sheets and blanket off. Kayden would wash them when I had an accident, but I don't know how to run the washer by myself. I just had to wait until Dady got home, so I did. I laid on the couch all day until he got back. I didn't know how to say it where he wouldn't be upset, regardless of how hard I thought about it.
"Papa..." I quietly started, holding onto his fingers. I started messing with them while trying to explain the problem.
"What is it?" He asked, sighing and letting me have his fingers.
"I had an accident this mornin' but I can't do the washer myself..." I mumbled, not looking up at him. When he didn't answer, I didn't look up at him. I figured he was angry again, so I tried to hug him. Maybe it'll make him happier.
"Papa, don't be mad! Please, no be mad at me," I whimpered, pressing my face to his chest.

[Jacob POV]

When I came home a couple of days after he had relapsed, he told me he wet the bed. I didn't plan to get mad, but I think he assumed I would.
"Papa, don't be mad! Please, no be mad at me," He softly begged. And something just clicked. I don't like being mad at him, but now I really want to avoid it. The past couple of months, I've not been controlling myself. Which has been a huge problem I'm trying to find a solution to. I'm getting in contact with Kaylee's therapist or whoever, and I'm trying to get a meeting set up. It's just going slow. I hate that my mood has conditioned him to think I'm gonna be mad over everything lately. From this second on, I'm not getting yelling at him. Or anything like that. No matter how mad I get.
"Were you little when you woke up?" I softly asked, scratching his head with the hand he's not playing with. He sniffled and nodded, glancing up at me to assess how I was feeling.

"Aw, Bubba. And you were definitely too little to run the washer," I commented, scooping him up. "Let Dady take care of it, okay?" I set him down on the floor as I picked up the dirty linens and drug them to the washer. I threw them in with soap and shut the lid, Luca standing a few steps behind me.
"You wanna watch a baby show?" I asked, turning around and getting new sheets from the hall closet. He hesitantly followed me, watching me cover the bare mattress and flop down.
"Come sit next to me," I offered, reaching out for him. He grinned cheekily and sat right in my lap, hugging me tight as he could. I put on Max and Ruby because it was the first kids' show I recognized. Luca didn't pay much attention to it. He clung to me and babbled lots in an attempt to keep my attention as long as he could.

"Do you have pants on, baby?" I eventually asked. I hadn't realized until just now, but I guess that makes sense. I wouldn't wanna stay in wet pants all day, either. He shook his head a little bit and stopped short of what he was saying.
"Bubba, I'm not angry. I promise. I don't mind," I tried to calm him down before he started panicking. He rested his head on me and nodded a little.
"Kay.." He whispered. He didn't sound little anymore.
"Come here, I'm not mad. I love you, baby. I love you so much," I said, smiling a little. "Are you still tiny?" He layed his head on my shoulder, pressing his face against my neck. I rubbed his back up and down as he bit on me.

"Would you be up to meeting my family?" I asked eventually. I've been meaning to introduce him, but I never got around to it. He pulled away to look at my face and grabbed my hand.
"I wanna," He answered after a second.
"We're having a get-together for my brother's birthday. If that's something you'd be into meeting them at," I offered.
"Ya, I meet Dady's family," He agreed, hugging onto me. The entire rest of the day, he was clingy and needy. But I didn't mind. I'm sure he's trying to make up for lost cuddles. But, I let him. He wasn't really in the way, so I let it be. I'm actually really excited for him to meet my family, considering I've been meaning to for weeks now. My brothers birthday is just a really great time to do it, so why not?