To Be A Mate

Chapter ThirtyNine

I paused outside of mine and Jake's door and attempted to wipe the tears off my face. Hopefully he wouldn't be able to see me in the dark anyways.

I opened the door and slipped into the room, making my way to the bathroom. I turned on the light after shutting the door and flinched.

I had always been an ugly cryer.

My face was blotchy, just from the crying I'd done on my way up here. My eyes looked sad. They still drooped from the sleep I was woken from, which didn't help my appearance one bit.

Looking at my reflection, I started to really doubt myself? Could I really be a hero? Sacrifice myself, my life, for the ones I loved? If you had asked me that a month ago I would have said yes in a heart beat. Now however, with the opportunity in front of me, I was petrified.

There was a chance I wouldn't be killed, I suppose. They wanted a test substance, a human. Someone they could attempt to turn, without the consequence if I died.

I took a deep breath.

I had to pull myself together. Jake couldn't see me cry. He couldn't see me scared and vulnerable. He absolutely could not know what I was doing.

I wiped my face as best as I could to remove the traitor evidence from my tears. Then I flushed the toilet in case Jake consciously or unconsciously hears me.

I crept over to the bed and gently climbed in. I thought I was safe when Jake slipped his arm around my waist. Instead, he cleared his throat.

"Are you good?" He mumbles against the back of my neck.

"Yes, of course." I lie. He mumbled back a reply that was inaudible, as he placed kisses around my shoulders, climbing on top of me.

I kissed him back when he reached my lips, allowing his tongue to dominate mine. I went along with his desire until he started tugging at my pants.

"Not tonight, Jake, please?" I whimpered. He immediately stopped and was off of me in an instant.

"Of course Jen, is everything okay?" He asked concerned, leaning over me and brushing a piece of hair away from my face. "Were you crying?" 

"No." I answer a little too quickly. "My face is probably still flushed from your kisses. And I'm fine. I just have cramps that's all, you know my time of the month..."

He sniffed the air as he looked at me and I blushed with embarrassment. "I don't smell-"

"Well I'm sure it's coming!" I blurt. I turned to him, laying in my side. "Sorry Jake I just don't feel like it tonight... maybe tomorrow." I place my hands on his shirt, tugging him down with the fabric. He slouches down next to me and wraps both his arms around me.

"Jen, I would never force anything on you. Never apologize to me for..... that." I nodded in his chest so he knew I understood.

He didn't speak then and I relaxed my body into him. I started to slow my breathing and sleep started to take more and more of me.

"I'll always protect you." Jake coos just before I fall asleep.

Too bad I'm making that difficult for you

• • • • •

I woke up suddenly, having being jostled awake from a nightmare. Vampires were taking over my dreams, as well as my life. Jake was still out next to me. The way he looked so peaceful made we want to cry as much as I had last night.

From the light in the window casting shadows around the room, I assumed it was well past eight. I smoothly slid out of Jake's grasp, and tip toed to the door.