"Mohan..Where are you lost?"asked Radha as she sat beside him. In her embrace was a small earthen pot. She had brought her handmade butter for her Mohan.
He smiled. Looking at the flowing river of Yamuna. The dark river flows as if it had no end. But it too had end.
"Ohh. My Radhe is here. What is this smell? Did you wear Jasmine on your hair?"he asked as he smiled. The fair face of Radha blushed.
"Yes. I wore Jasmine. I heard from Sakhis that you like that scent among all flowers. So I wore it"said Radha as he turned back to show him,the garland of Jasmine adorning her hair.
Mohan smiled.
"Radhe..You donot need to wear anything special to attract me. Your smile is enough"he continued as he looked at her. His eyes told her,he was speaking truth. He never lied to her. His heart had her in it. She knew.
But something was different. He was lost somewhere else..
As she picked up some butter to taste. Then extended it to him,he smiled. And took it..
Radha smiled. Love was that simple. She just loved her Mohan. The naughty child of Nanda Maharaj and Yashoda Rani. How she wished to keep this naughty Gopala tied to her. So that he won't run away. But each time he somehow ran away.
After hearing his flute for few more moments Radha left. To her home. But Krishna,Mohan of Radha sat alone. For a long time. Playing flute. The water of Yamuna danced along his flute. The trees,the calves,the Gopa and Gopis danced along. Only in the evening did he return home. Yashoda Maiya too was noticing the change. She had talked with Nanda Maharaj about it. Her little Kanha was serious. The joyful child seldom laughed now.
Even his friends were noticing the difference. It seemed Kanha was there but not there.
Gone was the child they could push around,play around. His expression was grave. Even Dau Balram was serious. Though he was always serious. Still. Things were different. But suddenly all the Gopalas felt relieved. They sang,danced in joy. Their Krishna,Kanha,Mohan, Nandlala was back. He teased his friends. Ran away stealing butter. Broke the pots of Gopis and drank curd.
Radha too was happy. As she leaned on her Mohan,as they sat on swing. The only place where Krishna was a child,a friend. Vrindavan..
Who was Radha? Radha was Krishna's best friend. Person with whom he could share everything with.
Radha was the only one who could scold him rightfully. Whose every order Krishna obeyed..
"Radhe..Let's go.."Krishna said as he got up from the branch.
Donot know why she felt reluctant. Like he was not just asking to go home. He was asking something more..
"No..Stay. For few more moments"Radha ordered.
Krishna smiled.
And a faint memory of not too long ago flashed..
Krishna was sitting under the tree,one leg bend,one straight,leaning,as he was playing his flute. He saw Radha,walking on the path,with some Sakhis..
She stopped hearing his flute. Then started to walk away.
"Radhe.."Krishna called out..
"Let's leave. Before he comes closer. Okay"one of her Sakhis laughed and said..
And all of them ran away. Krishna stood there. He opened his mouth to call her again. But stopped. And walked back. To the tree he was leaning on. It's just. As he stepped away,the place he stood had a red foot print. Shyam had stepped on a thorn. He just wished to ask Radha to help him remove it. May be she could.
He waited until Balram came back to look for him under the tree. He hurriedly took out the thorn from his feet,and scolded him for being careless..
But Krishna smiled at his dau. His dau knew,why he could not pull it out. If he threw it out,then that thorn would feel left out. He cannot left anyone behind. His embrace was for all. His arms open for all.
Krishna smiled at the memory..
"Radhe..It's time to leave. Dau is here"Krishna said looking at the thin woman who sat beside him..
She looked at him with reluctance. But got up and walked away. Krishna sat alone. Actually his dau was not there yet. He just wished. For her to stop him once. But she did not. She let go so easily..
Krishna smiled as the flute rang across whole Vrindavan..
It would carry the love of Krishna. For Radha,for every Gopa,Gopis. For Nanda Maharaj,for Yashoda Mayi. For every being. But he felt like there was a thin barrier between him and all this.
He sat watching the stars as they shone light. As Moon came.
An eventful era. A few years but with so much to deal with. The child with blue skin sighed.
He just looked up to the sky.
"Radhe..Forgive me and forget me after this life ends. This Krishna cannot give you what you desire"Krishna wishpered as the silent night of Vrindavan carried his words to the young Gopi sleeping peacefully in some metres of distance away. Somehow it felt as if an ocean stood between them.
He was just an actor. The perfect laughter,the perfect child. The playful friend. He was just a standin.
He was not the Krishna who fought with demons. Who killed Putana by drinking her milk. He was the Krishna,who gave Putana her freedom. She was back as a human. He was the Krishna who gave the demons a chance. To live. He was Radha's Mohan. But it was not all he was.
He was the lonely existence,who had no name.
