{Alycia Debnam-Careyxyou} Home Behind the Desktop

15

TW: Assault (it's a little dark) -please skip the italicized if this is a trigger.

I clenched my jaw. My heart racing. I wanted to leave. I wanted to run.

I kept a smile plastered on my face while I sat at the table with all of them. It was Thanksgiving, a time where everyone was supposed to be happy with their family. But my face told a lie to everyone around, while my heart begged for the truth. I nervously played with my hands under the table, scratching and picking at them, when I felt a hand slip onto my thigh that soon gripped it tightly. I didn't dare lift my head nor did I move as the hand slowly creeped it's way up.

Get off. 

Get off. 

Get off.

My head screamed at me, begging me to snatch it, break it, and tear it to pieces. My blood boiled through my veins, burning every portion of my body until it felt as though my heart was going to stop.

I couldn't breathe... and oh, how I wish I couldn't feel either.

But I felt every nail that pierced through my neck,

Every hand that held me down to the ground, 

And every word that drove daggers through his lips.

"Dad, no! Stop!"

I can't move.

"Please, Dad!"

Close your eyes, it will be over soon.

"STOP! NO!"

I shot up from the couch, my body drenched in sweat as hands quickly found my shoulders. "Y/n? Y/n.." My breaths came out heavy and fast, I couldn't stop. I pushed the blankets of my feet and forced myself up, running to the bathroom. I dropped to the floor on knees, barely making it to the toilet in time before I vomited. I felt all my muscles contract from the force, causing pain to soar through my body. I groaned and gasped for air when I could, but even when I had nothing left to throw up, it still wouldn't stop. I felt a warm hand on my back, carefully rubbing up and down while I leaned against the toilet. 

"You're okay, sweetie, it's okay.." 

The dry heaving eventually stopped, and I finally let my head rest on my arm that lay across the toilet, catching my breath. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alycia kneel beside me and move her hand to my forehead, pushing the hair out of my face, and then down to my cheek. I kept my eyes on the ground, still breathing heavy. She reached forward and flushed the toilet, before moving her hand to my back again, rubbing circles.

"You okay?" she asked softly, her touch allowing me to relax. I nodded my head slowly, still not looking up. I was exhausted, the vomiting taking every last bit of energy I had left, I could barely even move. "Here, let's get you back to bed- oh," she paused and I slowly lifted my eyes to see hers looking down at my chest. I followed her gaze to my shirt, noticing a small red blotch over my shoulder. I threw my head back, causing the sweat from my forehead to drip down the side of my face, "shit."

I pushed myself up, using the to toilet as support to stand on my wobbly legs. Alycia quickly moved her hands to my waist, making sure I didn't fall. I felt myself blush a little, but ignored it, carefully making my way back into the living room. She helped me walk back to the couch and motioned for me to sit down before walking out of the room and grabbing her red bag. I reached a shaky hand forward to the glass of water that sat at the coffee table and brought it to my lips, taking a sip. Then, I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and my face into my hands.