Adriano

Chapter 44:

I hear some shuffling outside the bathroom door.

My throat is sore but I can't stop the tears falling down my face.

'Dilara open the door,' Adriano says.

I continue crying and he knocks on the door, my sobs get louder and I lean my head against the door.

This is all my fault.

'Dilara please,' he begs. 'Let me help you.'

'I'm fine Adriano,' I cry. I press the palm of my hands to my eyes.

I probably have blood everywhere but I couldn't care less.

'Dilara please,' his knocks get more desperate. 'Dilara let me in.'

I hear him slump to the ground.

I ignore him and place my forehead on my knees. I place a hand over my mouth, making my sobs more quieter.

I let out a slow shuddering breath and pull my arms tighter around me.

*************
I wake up, sweating and panting.

It was all a dream.

That's what I think until I look down at my blood stained hands.

No it wasn't.

I stable myself as I get up and wash the blood off my hands. I look into the mirror and find fingerprints of blood all over my face.

I scrub until my face is red and raw. There's not on speck of blood on my skin but my clothes are covered in it. I make sure to wash my fingernails, I want all this blood gone.

Light peeks through the bathroom window and I open the door.

Adriano is asleep next to the door. He fell asleep while waiting for me to come out.

I can still feel the blood stained on my hands but look down at my clean skin.

My room is cleaned, as if nothing ever happened last night. But I still see the ghost of Jasmine's blood on the floor.

I wipe my hands on my trousers. My bloodied hands.

No it's not blood, just sweat.

I peel off my bloodied clothes and change into a hoodie. It's Christmas today but it doesn't feel like it, the house is eerily quiet.

Matteo sits in the kitchen, his hands folded on the table. He looks up at me as I walk in, his red rimmed eyes giving off the fact that he was crying.

I take out a bottle of Tequila and two shot glasses. I fill them up and pass one to Matteo.

He looks up at me and takes it, giving me a small nod.

I feel as if I should say something but I don't know where to start. So instead, I sit opposite him and take a shot, refilling both our glasses.

'She died protecting you.' He finally breaks the silence.

'I know,' I take another shot.

It's all my fault.

Matteo looks up at me and for the first time since I got here, his brown eyes aren't filled with hatred.

'Jasmine only ever protected those she saw good in.' He says, and I fill up his shot glass. 'I'm not going to live the rest of my life hating you or thinking you should've died instead.'