Love is Suicidal [Completed]

chapter: sixty six

Dedicated to Alex202002

"I just don't understand." Eli stood in the room with his arms crossed as I was sitting on my bed putting my shoes on.

I look up at him before leaning up. "What?"

"Why you're back again with this woman. Why you want anything to do with her after everything?"

Looking at him, I sigh then look down at the floor. "It's.. complicated." I look up at him. "We're actually dating now."

He stares at me for a moment. "You're joking." I shook my head as he shut his eyes for a moment before sighing. I saw him lean his head back before letting out a breath. "This is a lot to take in."

I watch as he looks back at me and I slightly smiled. "Eli, it's not as bad as you think. I promise."

"Jess," He runs his hand down his face as he looks at me. "this woman has hurt you so many times.. and you still keep running back to her." I nod as I look at him. "Do you not remember all those times you were crying? You were acting completely different. I could see how broken you were cause of this woman." He looks at me for a moment.

"Why are you continuing doing this to yourself?"

Sighing, I look down at the floor for a moment. I look back at him as he was watching me, waiting for an answer. "You know, Eli.. there's a saying," I look at him for a moment.

"If you can't love me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best." I stare at him for a moment. "River has issues but that doesn't mean I'm going to walk away. I love her too much to do that to her."

He looks at me before crossing his arms. "I want to meet her, Jess. And I think you should tell mom and dad about her.. so they can meet her also." I nod as I look at him. "But I'm serious.. I really want to meet her."

"You will." I slightly smile as he did the same.

"Where are you going?" He motions towards me as I was sitting on the bed, dressed up.

Standing up, I look around for my board before grabbing it off the wall. I look at him then smiled as I held it underneath my arm. "It's been a while since I went riding so I'm going to ride around."

"Be careful." He smiles at me before walking out of the room.

Sighing, I walk to the mirror then looked at myself before nodding and walking out of my room. I shut the door behind me before walking downstairs and hearing mom in the kitchen.

Walking over to it, I peeked inside and saw her standing at the sink with dad leaning over her. I smiled then knocked on the wall, which made them both look over at me. "I'm going riding."

"Ok, sweetie." Mom smiles. "Be careful."

Smiling at them, I walked away then towards the front door. I walked outside then noticed how it wasn't as cold as it usually is today. I had a hoodie on with some jeans, but the wind was the only thing that was cold.

I walked to the sidewalk before pulling my hoodie on then dropping my board on the ground. I looked around before stepping on it and pushing off, feeling the familiar happiness I forgot about.

It's be a minute since I actually rode.

And it feels great being back on the board.

Skating down the sidewalk, I smiled as I looked down then up as I was gaining more speed. I came to the end then looked around before skating across the street onto the other sidewalk.

I forget about the feeling I had in my stomach when it came to riding and I needed to start doing it more.

Just because I own a car now doesn't mean I need to stop riding.