Love is Suicidal [Completed]

chapter: five

"I can't take this anymore. I am trying my best to make sure you have the best life but I can't do this on my own!"

I watched as my mom was pacing around the living room as I sat on the couch. I could tell she was exhausted from the bags underneath her eyes and she looked a mess.

My mom has been doing her best to support me but I knew it was hard for her. She's a single mother, working her ass off but she still thinks it's not enough to support me and I could tell she was on the edge of breaking.

"Your father is nothing but a sorry piece of shit. He left us but doesn't want to pay child support? I'll take his ass to court again." She shook her head before sitting on the couch then placing her head in her hands.

I got up and walked over to her before removing her hands. She looks up at me and I smiled before pulling her into a hug. I knew she was trying her best and that's all that matters.

"Mom, you're doing a great job. I want you to know that."

She starts crying, pulling me closer to her. "I'm sorry, Jess. I'm sorry I can't be the mother you need. I'm trying my best but it's not enough."

I pulled back to look at her before cupping her face. "It is enough."

My mom goes through so much. She never tells me anything she goes through, but she's been to therapy countless times.

I never really understand what's wrong with her, but she doesn't want me knowing. She doesn't want me to see how she really is or the demons she faces on a daily basis.

She said that no matter what, she can't get better and I overheard her tell someone on the phone that she was considering suicide multiple times.

Letting her know that she's doing a great job is my job. I always let her know everyday that she's a great mom and she's doing great.

But sometimes that's not enough.

"Jess, I want you to know that I love you more than anything. I would do anything to make you happy."

I smiled at her as she was wiping her eyes. "I know, mom. I appreciate everything you're doing."

She grabs my hands and smiles down at them. I watch as she rubs her thumbs over my knuckles before sighing. She pressed her forehead against our hands and stayed in that position for a moment.

My mom was the greatest and strongest woman out there.

But sometimes the strongest are the most weak.

_

"That was so much fun." Eli chuckles as we walked out of the fair gates and through the parking lot.

"It would have been more fun if we didn't have to leave so early." I crossed my arms as I walked to his car.

It was seven, close to eight, and I don't know why Eli wanted to leave so damn early.

"Cheer up." He chuckles as we both got in his car then buckled up.

Shaking my head, I look over at him as he was starting the car. "It's not even night."

He looks at me before looking out the window. "It's getting dark." He looks at me an smiles. "Jess, I have work tomorrow. I didn't want to stay out all night."

"We could of stayed a little longer."

"I figured we can go get some food. Maybe some drinks before heading back home."