Troubled love

Chapter 4: "The night out"

It is Friday and tomorrow is the date of my mum's death. I am barely functioning at this point, trying to keep it together.

Izzy and Ed knew there was something wrong but didn't know what, I didn't want to tell them, I couldn't, not without breaking down, the left me alone for the most part and only talked to try and cheer me up. I spent lunch alone again because it was easier that way, during PE I tried to participate but I didn't have the energy to.

-"Thompson out"

-"I'm sorry Ms. Williams" I mumbled.

-"Cam, what's going on, you are not your usual self lately"

-"I'm struggling emotionally, It's a rough time for me Ms. Williams"

-"I understand, I just missed your annoying cocky self" I smiled at her comment.

-"Don't worry, it will be back in a week or two, I'm always like that at this time of the year"

-"Ok Kiddo"

She dismissed us

-"Take care Cam, and if you need anyone to talk I'll be here"

-"Yes Ms. Williams, thank you" I said and went and got changed, I made my way to English.

-"Ms. Thompson stay after class please" the familiar brunette said and I groaned.

I dropped on my seat and waited for the class to pass, I couldn't wait to go home.

After what seemed like an eternity the bell rang and I sat at the chair in front of her desk she closed the door and sat in front of me. She looked at me and her expression was more relaxed and softer than usual.

-"Camilla, I wanted to apologize, I know I have been harsh on you and I took it too far, I'm sorry for hurting you" She said and I felt like breaking down. I looked at her with glossy eyes and clenched my jaw.
"I heard that you were a troublemaker and I wanted to make sure you'll behave in my class, but I overdid it." She continued.

I nodded and a tear rolled down my cheek. My lower lip trembled and I struggled keeping it together.

-"I need to go Ms. Miller" I said trying to avoid breaking down in front of her.

She nodded and I run out. I got on my back and drove home, once I was in I let it all out, I couldn't stop crying, I missed my mum so much, I felt so alone and broken, I had no one to talk to and my dad was somewhere on a trip. I was alone and I would be alone tomorrow as well.

I must have cried myself to sleep because I woke up on the couch and my eyes were red and puffy. I spent all day laying on the couch, the pain was unbearable and I couldn't stop crying. It sucked, why did she have to die so young? Why would she leave me all alone? I couldn't do this without her, she was my safe space. I got a text from Izzy.

-"I noticed you've been sad the past days, how about we go out today and drink our ass off to forget everything?"

Going out on my mum's death anniversary didn't feel right but I needed to numb the pain somehow.

-"Sure, where are we going and how are we getting in?"

-"I have a friend, I'll pick you up at ten"

-"Ok"

I sat the couch for the rest of the day, I didn't feel like moving or eating or doing anything, I cried a couple times as well, it was an awful day. Around eight I got up and took a shower, I brushed my hair and applied some make up to hide the fact that I was crying. I wore a white shirt and rolled up the sleeves and a black pair of ripped jeans with white air forces, I styled my hair and waited for Izzy to text me she was outside, I felt like crying again but I didn't want to ruin my make up. My phone rang and I made my way outside. I jumped into Izzy's car and she eyed me.

-"Have you been crying?" She asked and I sighed

-"Yes"

-"Cam it's the same every September, when are you going to tell me what's going on?"

-"I will, someday, but for now I don't feel like I can talk about it, I'm sorry"

-"Its okay, whenever you are ready" She hasn't met my dad and I haven't told her about my mum, I avoid talking about my family as much as possible.

We got to the bar and a guy let us in through the back door, Izzy thanked him and went to get us drinks, instead she came back with a bottle of vodka.

-"Bro, what the fuck?" I laughed "Is Ed coming?"

-"No he had to go somewhere with his parents"

-"I don't think we can handle an entire bottle"

-"We can offer drinks to cute girls"

-"Sure" I chuckled

She opened the bottle and poured us two drinks, I downed the first immediately and she poured me a second one. I wasn't a big drinker, but I wanted to get drunk today, I should have eaten something though, it's been two days since the last time I ate. I drank the second drink as well and I poured myself a third one making it stronger.

-"Wow bro, take it easy" Izzy laughed "Let's go dance"

-"Not yet, I only dance after the third drink" The bar was starting to fill up with people.

As I finished my third drink we went to the dance floor and started dancing, I was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol and I felt great. After we danced for a while, I felt thirsty, so I went and poured myself a fourth drink. Izzy was dancing with some girl so I let her and sat at the stool. I finished the fourth drink and I poured myself another one and I was getting dizzy.

-"Cam I'm leaving with a girl, will you be okay?" Izzy asked

-"S-sure bro"

-"Call me when you get home or I'll come find you"

-"Ok"

She left with the girl and I sat at the table miserable, I was dizzy and everything was spinning, I closed my eyes. I got up and walked up to the bartender to get a bottle of water, as I was walking back to the table I bumped into someone.

-"Shit, be careful"

-"I'm S-s sorry"

-"Camilla? What are you doing here?" I looked up and show the familiar brunette, I gulped knowing this wasn't going to end well. "Oh god you smell like alcohol" she scrunched her nose as I opened my mouth to talk.