Rise From The Ashes (EDITING IN PROGRESS)

Chapter 13

  "Mom..." I hear Zaren's voice. Turning around I see him sitting underneath a big willow tree. With a speed I've never had before I run to him, engulfing him in a hug. I can't help but not let go even as we sit down.I'm never letting him go.

Staring in his eyes I caress his face with the back of my hand as tears fall down my face hitting the soft green grass that lies underneath me. "My baby. My Zaren," I cry out hugging him. "I miss you so much Zaren."

"I know Mom, and I miss you too. I want you to know I'm fine. I'm not sick anymore. I'm no longer in pain. It's peaceful here." He expresses. His eyes wonder over the bright white sky before settling on my face. Love shining bright through his eyes.

"Listen Mom, we don't have much time," he confesses. "I don't like seeing you sad. It hurts to see you like this. My only wish is for you to go on living your life with joy. Let go of everything. The hurt, pain, the past. Everything, Mom."

I cry holding my baby tightly. "I can't do that, my baby. I can't go on living as if you never existed. As if you were never mine." I whimper holding his face between my hands as my tears continue to pour out of my eyes.

Zaren cups my cheeks while wiping my tears with the pad of his thumbs. "Mom, I have always existed. In here," he points to my heart. "Just because I'm no longer alive doesn't make you any less of a parent. You will forever be my mother as I will forever be your son. I will always be yours. You may not see me, but that doesn't mean I'm not always with you." He pauses and looks around. "When you feel the wind against your face, know that, that is me caressing your cheek as I am doing now. Everywhere you go and everything you do, I will be with you." My Zaren says.

I cry, squeezing him just a little tighter. My body trembles as I breath in his comforting scent. Oh how I have missed his smell, his voice, the way the wind would blow his curly brown hair leaving it a beautiful mess. The way his crystal blue eyes would sparkle, but most of all I just missed him. I missed him so damn much.

"Give Zevander a chance Mom. He has been through a lot as well. The both of you may seem lost right now, but remember, what is lost right now will not always stay lost forever. You and Zevander need each other. To fix each other, heal each other and to love each other. Lenaya will also need you. She needs someone who will love her the way you love me. Give them a chance. You won't regret it. Learn to love again. That's my only wish." He says kissing my cheek. Before he could pull back I cup his face and stare into his eyes. He still looks as handsome as ever.

"I will my baby. I will keep your spirit alive. I will always keep you with me." I promise wiping my tears. "That is my promise to you."

"Will I see you again, Zaren?" I ask looking in his beautiful eyes.

Zaren looks down for a second before shaking his head and in that moment I lose it. I begin to feel my lips tremble in fear. My shattered heart breaks all over again. I grip my chest as pain courses through me, electrocuting my heart. I beg him not to leave me as fear grips my soul and shreds it to pieces. I let out a earth shattering scream. I'm loosing him all over again.

"Mom, please listen." He begs quietly. I can hardly hear him over the roaring in my ears, but I feel him. His touch calms me. As soon as he touched my face, my sobs stop and I look at him through blurry vision. "The reason you won't see me anymore is something I decided." Zaren explains.

He most have read my mind or something for he knows what I was going to ask. "No, Mom. You know I will always love you. I need you to live in the now, in the present, for your future. Not the past. If I come to you in your dreams, you won't be living. You will be stuck in the past. In the what if's and I don't want that for you. I wanted you to find your purpose and now that you finally have I don't want you to let go of that. Ever."