When We're Older- The Maze Runner (Newt)

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NEWT

   Sometimes, in the depths of the night, I find myself waking up. Most of the time, it's for no apparent reason. Other times, it's from a dream, from the events of the day that continued to whirl in my mind with no intention to stop.

   Sometimes it's just to hear the beating heart of the girl who laid next to me, her head on my chest, our legs tangled with each other. Sometimes, as tired as I am, or as I was, I couldn't get her off my mind. Everything she did. Certain words she spoke, the way she made me feel. It kept me awake into the early hours of the morning, because I found myself wanting to stay that way for as long as possible. To feel that feeling for as long as I could.

   She was always there. Next to me, on my mind, a feeling. Whenever I wasn't next to her, or with her, I was thinking of her. Thinking how my decisions would benefit her. The steps that it would take to get us to the Safe Haven, and to have a dog named Lucy while we grew old together. I've been on that staircase since the moment I had that strange dream, while I held her as she looked in the mirror at herself.

   It seemed never ending. Like I would be climbing the stairs to that goal higher and higher everyday, until something happened to either one of us. Then, that staircase would just stop, and I would climb down, or either keep climbing. Up, and up. Without her.

   As the days went by, the promise we had made to each other early in the days while I was getting to know her—it grew. I cared for her with everything I had, always. I loved her with every ounce of love one person could have for another, and more. The promise we made to each other evolved into something beyond both of our understandings, almost like a vow.

   Although the thought of her sometimes woke me up, or prevented me from closing my eyes and forgetting everything for some time, I never objected it. It's happened to me more often than I would like to admit.

   But never, in my two and a half years of living that I can remember, have I once woken up to a pain so great I forgot where I was, and what was happening around me.

   I shot up in bed, clutching the sides of my head as I opened my mouth to scream. The pain was sharp, right behind my eyes, as I rocked forward and curled myself into a ball.

   "Newt?"

   No. Go back to sleep. I thought, trying to keep the screams and cries of pain that wanted to leap from my chest, quiet.

   The pain continued as though it were trying to saw my brain in half. Going to the back of my head, then the front—I prayed that it would just go away as quickly as it had come. Leave me alone to go back to sleep.

   "Newt, what's wrong?"

   I ignored her as she touched my shoulders, trying to get me to stay still. I waved my arms around, the touch sending another pain wave through my head. I rubbed at my temples as Mae adjusted herself so that she was now sitting on her knees on the mattress, the sheets tangled around her legs.

   A cry of agony managed to escape from my lips, another one following right after it. I pinched my eyes shut, feeling the throbbing as I saw all different sorts of colors behind my eyelids. My stomach turned, and my body began to tingle as the pain continued.

   "Newt." Mae's voice echoed through my mind, calm despite how scared I knew she was. I suddenly felt a small pair of hands over mine on the side of my head, brushing away the wispy bangs that had fallen over my forehead. I removed my own hands from my head, needing her somewhere.

   "Ow, ow, ow." I cried, a tear falling from my closed eye. "It hurts. It hurts."

   I kicked my legs out in front of me, using my hands to grab the sheets as I pushed myself an inch into the air, then back down.