THESE HIDDEN WINGS

[21.1] WHITE ROSES

•|•|•

"Why couldn't I be brave?"

•|•|•

I ZIPPED UP my hoody, glancing up at my reflection in the wardrobe mirror, coming face to face with my tired eyes.

I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and succumb to sleep knowing very well that tomorrow I would be required to wake up at 6 am for Mornings Origins class, but I had one thing to do before I could retire for the night as everyone else was probably doing right now.

I was used to being drained most evenings as palace life was a day-to-day energy drainer, from being homeschooled, to functions, royal meetings, and such. But this was a whole new routine and my brain had a slight challenge of adapting.

After our late arrival, it was nothing short of a miracle that Mr. Ogustus hadn't yet arrived. It soon came to our knowledge he had been held up in a meeting, only attending the last hour of Afternoon Origins class, reconfirming what Andrew had said of the match being canceled and an inter-color match being held tomorrow instead.

He took the rest of the time asking questions of what we had covered so far, to see if we had got something in our youngling brains as he put it, once again reminding us he would only tell Origin stories in morning origins class and none else.

After a heavy supper, I spent an hour with Claire before heading to bed.

Well, to my room as technically, I wasn't going to be sleeping anytime soon. I put on some sneakers, looking for a plastic bag, where else was I going to put the roses whilst I was sneaking into the King's Gardens?

That's right, I was doing it.

I stood by my wardrobe mirror studying my very unsure expression through my reflection. Was I going to the restricted area in the middle of the night? It is called the restricted area for a reason, right?

A reason they won't tell us.

But that didn't matter. I honestly didn't even want to know. These weren't just any roses. These were roses for my mom. Mom, the one woman I owed the world to. She would love them, maybe she would even recover quicker, white roses always made her feel better.

They made me feel better.

This wasn't even a big deal! The roses were barely in the restricted area I would be in and out under five minutes! I paced around still in an inward debate on my impending stupid decision.

Yes, I could do this!

I rolled my eyes staring at myself through the mirror.

All this pep talk just to get roses? I was a coward.

My jaw clenched at the thought. Maybe I wasn't the bravest person around, but maybe I did like being safe, what was so wrong with that? When you see someone with a gun, most people run away from it, and very few stand up to the man with the gun.

So maybe I am part of the crowd, part of the people who run, so why does that make me a coward? Just because is preferred safety?

It shouldn't.

But it did.

Because I wasn't like most people. I was the heiress to the throne of Barotse. Leaders make decisions. Leaders attack the man with a gun. Why couldn't I be brave?

"Not everyone was born to lead. It is a gift and a burden few can bear,"

Mr. Ogustus's words echoed through my mind.