THESE HIDDEN WINGS

[119] FRAGILE

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There was one term I didn't think I would ever associate with Lucas but it was the only thing that came to mind. He looked fragile.

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I WATCHED THE waves crash against the rocks down below as I leaned over the ledge, trying to catch my breath from all the running.

Looking up at the moon, I run a hand through my wild hair, shaking my head in disbelief, heart thudding courtesy of the marathon I had just run.

It shouldn't have been possible, but it was.

The stone had moved- it had frickin moved.

I felt sick, and yet all I could do was dry heave. I didn't know whether I was happy or sad.

Having a dilect meant that I could finally live on Kingsland without feeling guilty about what I was or rather who I was and yet it also meant that I knew nothing about who I was.

That all my life I had been lied to.

This was different from keeping Kingsland from me, but lying to me about who I was was something even I couldn't accept.

I never wanted to be the girl to ever say these words. But at this moment I felt every ounce of it.

My whole life had been a lie.

Dad was prime- he had to be, he was the King of Kingsland.

Mom? She couldn't be if she had gotten hurt during the fall whilst I was left unscathed.

Now that I was a dilectus, so many questions were tearing through my mind.

What was my dilect? How did Gravis know to put me in red? Was he aware of what I was or had I used my dilect once long before I can remember for him to go by?

Also, why was my dilect barred?

Harvest had said that it had been blocked, but why?

My gaze shifted over the reflection of the dark ocean, breathing harshly, pushing my hair out of my face as the wind howled it around me.

My mind flashed to the meeting that Gravis and I had on this very hilltop, on a night just like this.

He had so many chances to tell me about what I really was.

I could care less about Keeping Kingsland a secret from me, or that my father was actually the king of Kingsland, all that seemed to have been in line to be told to me eventually- but this-

This was hiding a piece of who I was- of what I could be.

All my life, I thought I was human and now, I find out that somewhere in my veins, from centuries ago runs the blood of the old gods.

I looked down at the pebble that I was fidgeting in the palm of my hand. This one little thing changed my whole life.

I brought it up to my face, examining it for a few seconds before my fists wrapped around it-

Was I even ready for this?

Could I handle it?

I should just throw it away and keep pretending I was who I believed myself to be. I never did do well with change anyway. 

I stared out into the far ocean, the night sky plain tonight, only the moon hanging and a rebel star that had managed to dodge the night clouds and shine.