You Asked For This - Finnick Odair

It's Different For Everyone

"I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her name was grief."
– C.S. Lewis

...

Cora and Finnick stayed in District 4 for longer than they should've. Snow didn't contact them.

Maybe he understood that they needed the time off in order to be compliant. So they wouldn't lash out and upset the peace like wounded animals. One can only suffer for so long before they begin to fight back.

Sean had stopped going to school. The boy, who still hadn't spoken since Lyra's death, simply refused to go. He was twelve, so it was his last year, anyway. And the year was almost over. So he stayed home with Cora, Finnick, and Mags while Blue went off to school.

Cora always stayed inside, away from windows, until the sun had risen and went back inside before the sun began to set. Annie was the same way and Crane always stayed with her while she hid from the brilliantly colored sky.

The black-haired boy had known and loved Lyra, but he hadn't known the version of her that got up early to watch the sunrise or stayed out to watch the sunset. He and her had bonded over her love of design. He had been helping her build the shed just outside the Odair mansion.

He had had enough experience repairing boats and structures dealing with fishing that he was a great resource when she had questions about construction.

And so, while he didn't need to avoid the sunrise or sunset and he couldn't avoid construction, his heart ached a little every time he saw a piece of driftwood. Lyra would've loved to add it to her shed.

Finnick and Sean grieved differently. Every morning, they would get up early to watch the sunrise. And, every night, they would stay out to watch the sunset.

It made them feel closer to the blonde girl. Like she was watching with them, in awe of all the colors.
Finnick and Cora shared a room in Mags' mansion. As did Blue and Sean. No one wanted to be alone at night.

Every morning, Finnick would slip out of bed to go watch the sunrise with Sean. Some mornings, Cora was awake. Other mornings, she was still sleeping.

The golden-haired boy liked the mornings when Cora was still sleeping. When she was asleep, she didn't have to think about why she was missing the sunrise. It was easier on her.

After the sunrise, Finnick would come back to let the strawberry-blonde know that it was over.

Every night, after Sean and Finnick returned from watching the sunset, Cora would go out to walk along the shoreline. And she would find the Lyra constellation among the stars. She liked to believe that that was where Lyra went.

Some nights, she would have company. Other nights, she did this alone. It hurt to do, but not as bad as watching the sun rise and set. Everything having to do with Lyra hurt. At least this hurt a little less.

When she was done walking along the shoreline, if Finnick wasn't already with her, she would go back to their room and join him in bed. The light was always on when she got there. It was too scary for him to be alone in the dark. At least for now.

Blue grieved differently. He was nine now. Usually, he was quiet and didn't smile. He wasn't one to much emotion at all. About four years of loss after loss, not to mention never knowing his parents, left him scared to form attachments to anyone.

But losing Lyra seemed to be a catalyst for him. He lashed out at school and got into fights. Much like a young Coral Newport. Blue Newport was angry.

He wasn't sure at who. Lyra for dying. Reef for volunteering. Ocean, for running away or getting taken by the Capitol, he didn't know. Finnick for messing up. Cora for involving herself with Snow in the first place. Snow for pulling the strings.

No one had explained these things to him, the intricacies of the situation and the tangled web of blame. But Blue was smart and learned how to observe and pick up on patterns. Still, it was all so confusing and too much for anyone to really handle. And he was still only nine years old.

He didn't lash out at everyone. Mags, Annie, and Sean were spared his wrath. Crane didn't get the full force of it either. But Cora, Finnick, and everyone else had to deal with Blue's anger.

He would never physically fight Cora or Finnick. His words did enough damage. He also couldn't bring himself to physically hurt them. No matter how angry he was, he still loved them.

Still there, underneath all that anger, was a boy that cared deeply about his loved ones. The only real proof of this, that no one knew about but him, was on his walk home from school.

Blue would take the long way home. The way that went right past the graveyard. And the freckled boy would lay something on Lyra's grave. Sometimes, a small piece of driftwood. Other times, a flower. Anything he thought Lyra would like. And then he would go home.

Everyone grieved in their own way. Lyra Odair had been like sunshine, making everything brighter, no matter how dark life got. But she couldn't make anything brighter now. Not from beyond the grave. Not when her sun had set forever.