ShawnMendes entered Wattpad.

28

"Hey. Morning", I say, when I walk to the table where Amy sits.

"Hey." She's studying something on her smartphone, frowning, in front of her a bowl of fruit-salat. I can detect cucumbers (I don't know, why), pineapples, peaches and vinegrapes.

I hem. It's quite weird, how the ambiance between us developed. From best friends to two people, who can appearently not at least look each other in the eyes. Well, Amy can't. I would. But she doesn't even look up, to take her spoon and eat a bit of her breakfast.

I leave the next hem out and sit instead at the opposite of her. My breakfast seems overloaded and voracious in front of hers. I mean it's just some buns, a croissant and a muesli with yoghurt and apple, but yeah. There's probably a reason, why Amy stays as slim, as she is, and I'm not. If I were at least working out at night as Shawn, I guess, that could help, loose all the not absolutely necessairy pounds, but nope, I can't stand work-outs. It never really got to me, how important it could be to shape your body - maybe, Shawn would've spoken to me immediately yesterday, if I looked a bit more like Amy and not like a curvy model for small sizes. (Otherwise: How superficial would that be?) So no, I don't want to let grow jealously or anger again. I just want to clear the plate. In a metaphorical way - cause my breakfast isn't even touched until now.
So yeah, either way. I take a sip of my orange juice (they had nothing else, but I'd prefer grapefruit mixed with lemon) and wait for Amy to come up with a conversation. But she just takes another bite of her non-crunchy-fruit-salad-with-cucumber and leaves me with unsolved frustration and irritation. "Amy?"

She nods barely, still looking on her phone.

"I'm sorry, but what did I miss?", I say it consciously calm.
And finally, she lifts her gaze. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's going on?"

She just frowns, so I see, that I need to explain it more, even though I feel, that she totally knows, what I meant. "Look Amy, I think we have a lot to talk about. We need to clarify some things. And to settle that from the beginning right: I will tell Shawn everything. The truth. I will tell him that he was writing with me. And I will also tell him that everything was a huge misunderstanding. I will of course not humiliate you, so you don't need to be afraid of that. - But I will clarify this mess. All of this."

It takes some seconds, then Amy says: "Okay."

I stare at her, totally confused. Did she just say "okay"? I was prepared, to battle with her, to have to argue and to persuate her to tell the truth, and not to just receive a simple okay. I look at her suspiciously. I have the feeling, that there's coming something, I'm not calculating with. I just know Amy, and she's not the person just giving up her hopes of getting together with Shawn, of him falling in love with her, of them being a couple. It's her dream. Who would give up their dream without a fight - even though it's the wrong way to realize it? Amy not. Never.
"So, you're fine with me telling Shawn everything?", I look at her questioning. She bites her lip. "No. Yes. I mean: no."

What?! "I don't understand."

She breaths in deeply and than shoves her bowl of fruitsalad away. She probably won't eat it up.

"I get it, that you want to say him, that you were the one, he was writing with. That's okay for me. But you can't tell it him now."

I look at her frowning, only holding myself back from starting questioning and probably fighting. She looks, like she has a plan. Amy's always a plan. And yes, she's nodding, as she has to confirm herself. "See Mandy, I understand your need of being acknowledged by him. But - I have to say it roughly - he didn't. He did recognize me. Me, Amy! And he wanted to speak with me, he hugged me, he even invited me to a party! We spoke the whole evening, and he looked at me, as I was a wonder." Amy smiles dreamy. "And when I left the party, he even told me, he was more than surprised and relieved, that it was me, he was writing with, and not someone else. He said, he wanted to spent more time with me." Amy makes a pause, and I can hear my own blood swooshing through my ears. "He wants me, Amy", Amy repeats. Then she breaths out. "I know, that you have kinda a right to tell him all, but all I ask you to, is to give me some more time with him. To give him the chance, to get to know me. And then, then you can talk to him. But please, please", now, she strikes a begging tone, "please let me spent one more time with him. It's just my biggest dream to come true, and it's like I'm hallucinating - Shawn Mendes speaks to me, he hugs me, he smiles at me - he even seems to like me! That's unbelievable, truly incredible."

It's truly an incredible speech, Amy gave me here, and I ask myself, if she'd prepare it the whole night. Maybe after pretending to be too drunk, to walk straight, just to feel Shawn's hand around her body. Am I unfair? I don't know. I just know, that Amy's always so calculating, and so self-confident, and now, she just looks so begging, that I don't know, what to do. Amy never looks begging. She just usually gets, what she wants, and she never asks for that in such a tone. "Mandy, please, I'm begging you for merci."

I can't, but roll my eyes. I got that quote, of course.

"Do you do me that favor? Please?" She repeats her question and smiles at me with the warmest and honest and sweetest Amy-Smile, she can.

And there, I give in. I know, that the chance, that Shawn falls in love for me is extremely low, and it won't get higher, when I refuse Amy the favor. When Shawn falls for Amy, than I had never a chance. I mean look at my appearance, and than at hers - Amy's styled perfect as always (I know, I'm repeating myself, but that's just, how it is), and there's not even an eyelash, that's looking wrong. She's wearing a silver-curves-underlining skirt with sequins and a fitting necklace and long earrings with drop-shaped gems - a lot of bling-bling. And there I am: Again with happy socks (now cats and dogs and colorful confetti) and a dungeree out of jeans material, with some really practical bags for smartphone, notebooks and lots of little accessories like the "safe-the-bees" and "equality"-buttons, I love. Amy's always saying, she would rather die, than to run through the public with an "equality"-sticker on her dress. She's always saying things like: "Shawn surely wouldn't like a woman always contradicting." And she says the same about the tutor from the lecture, she would "never" start something with. Alright.
She's still waiting for my answer, and it's quite a hard decision, cause somehow, I have the the feeling, it is a decision between her and my friendship and Shawn. I never saw him as a threat for Amy's and my friendship, so I won't start now with that. I open my mouth, to tell her the decision, I made and hope, I won't regret it.