All the Wrong Reasons (Raura)

Don't be Scared

I haven't gotten any sleep in days. Knowing that you're basically on death's bed kind of makes it hard to even think about anything else. With the constant attention from nurses and doctors checking on all of my internal bleeding, I barely have any time to just think for myself.

The doctors keep asking my parents if they want me off life support, but they always say no. I don't want to suffer forever, so if I'm going to die, if there really is no way to save me, then what are they waiting for? I'm not going to stay here forever.

Laura comes by usually three times a week. She says it'd be more, but she has to fit in homework at some point. When she visits, all I want is for us to be alone, and to talk, but we never are. There's just too much attention from nurses. But hey, I guess that happens when you're practically dying.

At this point, I'm not expecting to live for much longer. It breaks my heart. There are so many people I don't want to leave behind, but I'm literally on life support. Machines are breathing for me- I can listen but I can't talk. I just don't see how this is going to get any better.

"Hey Ross," the doctor said, coming into my room. "You ready for surgery today? We're going to attempt to stop that bleeding inside," Dr. Charles said, full of hope. I attempt to nod my head yes, but it's hard, but Dr. Charles knows what I mean. "Alrighty then, lets hope it goes well," he said, wheeling me out of my room.

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"And today Ross goes in for surgery," I told Ava while I stared at my lunch, not really having an appetite. "He'll be okay Laura," Hannah re-assured, and Ava nodded. "Yeah, he'll pull through, and you'll be hugging him in no time," Ava smiled. I shake my head. "What happens if something goes wrong?" I asked. "Laura, don't be so negative," Rocky said, "He's going to be fine," he finished.

"Yeah Laura, don't sweat it, and aren't you and Rocky going to see him later?" Ava asked. "Yeah, and I really hope Ross can talk by then," I sighed, and picked at my food.

All I want is for him to be okay.

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"Rocky, stop!" I said, hitting is hand away. We were sitting outside Ross's room waiting to go in, and Rocky kept poking me in the side. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood," he huffed, and slouched in his seat.

"Laura, Rocky, good to see you," Dr. Charles said to us. "How is he?" I asked, scrambling to my feet. "He's well, we were able to stop the internal bleeding during the operation, which means Mr. Lynch will be able to start physio therapy," the doctor said. I turned around and hugged Rocky out of joy. "Can we see him?" I asked, after hugging Rocky. He nodded and allowed us into the room. "Ross?" I asked, and then turned the corner.

"Hey guys," Ross whispered, looking at Rocky and I. This was the first time that I've talked to him awake since he phoned me to tell me that he could basically die anytime. "Ross! How are you?" I said, running over to the side of his bed. "I'm good, for now I guess," Ross laughed, grabbing hold of my hand and smiling up at me. "Yeah, yeah, you guys are adorable, but the doctor said that Ross needs to start physio therapy soon, so we should probably take him down there," Rocky said, getting a wheelchair ready.

Ross still had a broken leg, and broken ribs. It was going to take awhile before he was back to normal.

Rocky left the room so I could help Ross. "Hey Laura, look, it's going to be awhile until I perform again," Ross said, with a sad look in his eyes. "I know, but I know you'll be okay," I said, trying to stay positive. "The label is going to drop me, yet again," he sighed. "No, okay, that's just not fair. They have to understand," I protested. "If I'm not making them money, I'm useless," Ross sighed. "Well, how about I pop by with my keyboard once a week and we can write some stuff so when they ask for material, you already have it," I suggested. "That's actually a really good idea," Ross smiled. "Thanks Laura," he said. I just smiled back.

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"I mean just think about it- if I wasn't a musician, what would I be?" I asked her, as she laughed. "An accountant- a British accountant," Laura smirked. "Why British?" I laughed. "Because I think you would do a good accent," she laughed. (a/n- fyi this episode of a&a was my life omfg k)

"I think that you would be a ditzy actress," I smiled, and she laughed once again. "What? You have to be kidding me, I'm way to smart to be an actress," she smirked. "Are you insulting actors?" I lifted my eyebrow at her. "No, I'm just saying it wouldn't be my first pick as a career," she said honestly.

Currently, it's 11pm, and Laura and I are sitting on my hospital bed talking. It's pretty perfect. I wouldn't want anyone else in here but her, and there's something I really wanted to ask her.

"Hey Laura, can I ask you something?" I stammered. "Sure!" she said cheerfully. "When I wasn't awake, and you were talking to me, did you-" "You heard that?" she interrupted. I swallow hard. What am I supposed to say? "Yes," I said quietly. Laura ran a hand through her hair. "You weren't meant to hear that," she huffed. "Obviously," I breathed out. "This isn't funny," Laura snarled. "Why are you so scared about it?" I asked casually.

"Because I said words that I wasn't ready for you to hear, that's why," she said, covering her face. "Oh," I sigh. So I guess she doesn't love me. "So none of it was true?" I asked. "I don't know yet," she said. I touched her shoulder, and she looked over at me.

"Hey, don't be scared. I've met a lot of girls in my lifetime, but none seem to be as complex as you- and luckily enough, I like complex. I'm not going anywhere, whether you meant what you said or not," I comfort. "Yeah, but, you probably said that to all of them too. I'm not special," Laura said. "Do you expect me to say you are?" I ponder. "Well, feeling like I'm just another girl isn't exactly a confidence booster," Laura sighed. Up your game Lynch, my mind reminded.

"Look Laura, whenever you're ready to say those words to me in person, I promise you that I'll say them back. And I've never said those words to another girl before, not one. And I really hope that makes you feel special, because I wouldn't say it to anybody else unless I knew my heart could feel it. So, whenever you're ready, so am I," I say, watching her face become a deep shade of pink.

"Well," she said, "I do feel special." I smile over to her and grab her hand and pull her into my chest. "Good," I whispered in her ear, and we slowly fall asleep like that. Feeling the stress leave my body, I'm overwhelmed with joy, knowing how Laura may feel about me. Maybe we really have a future together.

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well hey guys. sorry that this is late and sorry that there may be mistakes since it's not edited, but I really missed you guys!

I know I need to update more often, and trust me im trying, but it can be hard sometimes. anyways, did you like it???????? oh and do you like the new Halloween a&a episode? I loved it!!!

COMMENT!!!! :) believe me, I'd like to get to know my readers more than anything

what do you think will happen next? comment your thoughts!

anyways, bye for now, see you soon &thanku for all the support- it really motivates me.

all my love,

haileexoxo