All the Wrong Reasons (Raura)

Some False Hope

Ross's heart stopped yesterday.

They thought he was getting better, but his ribs punctured his lung, and things escalated. Luckily, with the help of a defibrillator, they brought him back into this cruel and harsh world that seems to be pushing him away more than he's reaching out.

Since prom, I've been busy studying for finals, but when Ross's mom called me and broke the news of his condition, I haven't looked at a book. I've been living in the hospital, and trying to prepare myself for what's going to happen.

"Laura, Ross wants to see you now," his mom said, and I immediately stood up, not wanting to let another second pass away into wasted space. "Okay," I simply breathed.

As I twisted the door handle, my eyes darted towards the biggest mystery that I've ever come to know; Ross Lynch. "You look nice," he weakly muttered. My head violently shook and tears rolled down my eyes.

"This is going to be the last time I talk to you," I whispered, waterfalls flowing down my cheeks. "Don't say that. I think I'm going to be here for quite some time yet," he weakly laughed as he patted the spot next to him. I gently sat down beside him and held his hand. "We never did get to have a real and special date, did we?" he said, and I sputtered my tears out like words that never wanted to leave my mouth.

"No, the only date we ever had caused this," I said as light-heartedly as possible. "But, you do know that I would take you on one if I could, right?" he said. I half nodded. "I know, but I just, this is all my fault," I sobbed. He would be alive and healthy if it weren't for me, but instead he's almost dead and extremely unhealthy, but if there's anyone who can recover from this it's him.

Oh who am I kidding. I swear I'm not trying to fool myself, I'm really not, but I know there's no hope. He's got a few weeks left, tops. The only love I've ever had in my life is going to die, unless there's a miracle, a huge miracle.

"Laura, I love you, but you knew that already, and I want you to know that if I could spend my whole life with someone, it would be you, and you have to know that. And as much as I love you, I really want you to know that, it's okay to move on," he soothed. I sighed.

"I can't Ross," "Yes, you can. So many other people deserve you, and if I can't make it out of here, you deserve happiness, eternal happiness," he cried. "Don't say it, you'll make it out, I know you will," I said, squeezing his hand.

"Laura, I love you, but you should go home and get some rest," he pushed. I really didn't want to go, but I also didn't want to argue with him. He needed rest to. I kissed him on the forehead and whispered, "I love you," in his ear before walking out. Just as I had my hand on the door I heard a faint whisper, "Or, you could stay with me,"

And before I knew it I was in his arms

The way it was always meant to be.

_________________

Everyone seems to know what I'm going through. Every single teacher is wishing me good luck or giving me free good grades to ease my stress level because of what I'm dealing with. All of my friends keep buying me lunch, and yesterday my mom let me drive the car to school.

It doesn't help that I'm spending every night in the hospital and it's getting harder and harder to leave since I never know when I'm going to see him next.

"Laurs," he whispered as I walked in today. "Hey," I said, kissing him before giving him half of the brownie I was eating, since he loved brownies. "I was thinking," he started, "Were you?" I asked. "Yeah, and I came to the conclusion that when I get out of the hospital I-" "Ross, you know that the likelihood of you getting out the hospital is not good, right?" I said as nicely as possible. "Yeah," he nodded, "But I was thinking, I still want to do everything that was on my bucket list before I, well, you know," he trailed off, tears falling down his face.

"I'm scared Laura," he choked out. My heart fell to my feet. "I-I know. I'm scared too, but I'm trying to deal with it. You just have to keep fighting," I said. What a lame thing to say. "Okay," he trembled.

He was getting worse day by day, but he kept fighting.

__________________

When his heart stopped for a second time, before being brought back to life, he was put on life support. I was beginning to prepare myself more than I ever had before. A machine was breathing for him.

Night after night I would lie awake and cry, wondering what I would do with myself without my best friend, the guy who showed me who I was, who I had my greatest adventures with. God was not being kind to him, so maybe the only legible thing to think was that Ross was needed somewhere else. He was going to play music somewhere that needed saving.

We tried to finish his bucket list, which was pretty much visiting lots of places on virtual tours and reading about different things. However day after day he got much weaker and eventually, well, his heart stopped, but was saved by the nasty person playing tricks on my heart.

He told me how all he really wanted in life was to change someone else's. I smiled and told him that that was exactly what he had done for me, and that led to the longest hug of my life. And I loved every minute of it.

Now, he's sleeping most of the time, and I just stand by his door hoping that he'll just stand up and say he's okay. Slowly however, his conditions did change, and he actually gained some ground.

A miracle was happening, but nobody knew how strong of a miracle. But I didn't care. All I cared about was that I had some extra time left with the most amazing boy I've ever met. Maybe somehow, he'll be okay.

Oh, a girl could only hope.

wow hey guys. first of all I want to apologize for such a short update, I just wanted to post it.

also, sadly, this is the second last chapter, and the last chapter will probably be posted just before Christmas or just after. kind of a gift to you guys I guess

sorry if it bummed you out, but hey, ross might pull through, that little dapper. (I actually don't know lmao I haven't decided how I want it to end just yet)

so my 8 month process ends in a few weeks, so I kind of want you to comment some stuff;

a: your favourite part of the story so far

b: what you want to happen in the end

c: what you think is going to happen in the end

cheers and happy holidays! see you sooner to Christmas ilyg!!!!

much love,

haileexoxo