Living With My Fate ✔(#Wattys2016)

23. I did something wrong which I thought was right.

" We have nothing to talk about" He said wiping his mouth roughly

" We have. We have more than you can imagine

I dragged him out of the cafe. He glared at me shoving his hands in his pocket as if he did absolutely nothing to ruin my life.
I rolled my eyes at his wistful approach

" Remember what we talked you not rolling your eyes" He barked

" Remember what we talked about trying to change? " I snapped back viciously

" You dont and cant know me so why are you trying?"

" Why am I trying? Because I know this.. This is not the person you are! You are living in the skin of an absolute different person than who you are! I have seen you care! That is the real you believe it or not!"

"Dont pretend to know me! You don't kniw shit about me! Just because I have been with you for a few weeks doesnt change anything?!"

" You know what? I dont know you! I really dont! I dont know why and how you can just take me down against a fucking table amd make me feel the best possible way and then just absolutely reverse all those feelings by humiliating me infront the entire school! I dont know how you can just rip off the person who loved me the most in my life, my dad and put him on a hospital bed! I don't know why you hate me so much!" I bit my lips to stop crying

" I-

" And guess what even you don't know me! "

" That's a fucking lie! I KNOW you better than anyone can in your mortal world! So fucking dont say that!" He snapped through his clenched jaw

" Really? Just because you have been controlling me for 18 years of my life that doesn't give you an insight to who I really am! You all just control my emotions but at the ens of the day they are my emotion and I choose to get affected by what you do I can bluntly ignore you infirmities but I dont because I really respect this structure! There is w reason God sent his messengers to control how mortals feel but as much as I respect it you just can't get iover yourself and change your ways!"

" Do you know how the fuck it is to live when everyone hates you? You don't because no matter what I do people never hate you! They just ignore you! You are lonely not outcasted like me!"

" What... Do You mean" I toned down a bit. What does he want to say?

" Dont you fucking pity me now! Atleast I know what I want you don't even know what you desire!"

" What the fuck" My voive rose again

"Hanging around with Ryan just to make me mad?"

" What! I hang around with him by choice ! Like you hang around with Cara!"

" Atleast she has some dignity!"

" Dignity is the last thing she has believe me! "

" Welk she doesnt fake relationship and fuck others!"He started nearing me

"And why do you fucking care! He broke MY heart! He cheated on ME! All the problems point to Me ! WHAT is YOUR problem with that!"

" Cuz I dont want to see you heart broken again!"

There goes his bipolarness! He can suck the wind out me and literally make my heary skip a beat by his sudden advances of affection.

" I-I mean.. It's annoying to hear your cries " He quickly covered up

" Smooth cover up! For the record I dont cry!"

"Yeah, You just throw yourself on me"

He is just so disrespectful !

" I throw myself one you! YOU KIDNAPPED me and .... DID whatever with me" I said furiously waving my hand to prove my point.

" You never refused! ADmit it I can make you feel better than that Ryan guy ever has" His face inched closer till I could feel his breath mingling with mine.

He.. He is just incorrigible! All this is a wild goose chase. I thought I was doing this for myself but all I am doing is worsening things.

" What do you want from me Fort?"

" I just want to leave me fucking alone and get the fuck away from Ryan."

I closed my eyes calmly.

" Okay. That's it then. "

I had to end this. A huge part of me was pounding with guilt and regret. But a small part of me was tired of keeping up with Fort and his behaviour .

" I am sending you bback. Let's get this over" I mumbled.

" What??? "

I didnt want to give up but I couldn't give in either. He tested my limits too far. I could stay with what he offers.. I will get used to it;

" You are giving up on me?" His voice turned from cocky and angry to melancholic." YOU ARE FUCKING GIVING UP? You are happy with what I am doing to you" He was almost desperate .

" Angels above me.. I hereby completed my quest to change... my..." I started sobbing. I lookes at him through my tears. He stood there im silence.

I hate him
But I actually got used to him being with me.

I had a feeling he needed to go.

But do I want to?

" Mission...

" Flo..
".... Accomplished"

I waited trying to seep in what I just did. My eyes fluttered open expecting Fort to stand there with his cocky smirk telling me how it didn't work. But he wasnt there.

The tinkle of a cycle jerked me to realization.
Pro said when I send him back i'll forget everything that happened. But memories of Fort were crystal clear. Maybe he just went away...
I rushed into the cafe to see Ryan trying to wipe the blood from his face.

" Ryan! Oh , gosh are you all right!? " i rushed to touch the scar on his lip .
But he reluctantly moved away.

" I am fine but you aren't. Why is he so possesive about you? "

" Ryan.. He is a jerk.. I just talked to him-

" Why? Why does you talking to him help!?You said you didn't know him? Yet he is affected by everything you do? "

" Ryan it's complicated... "

" Flo I am trying to be honest to get you back but I guess you lost the appetite for trusting me " He got up and strided away.

I fell on my knees and buried my face in my palms.

I was just trying to vacuum clean the mess out of my life but instead that vacuum just malfunctioned and now it's Messier than before.

Proof?

I did something I thought was right and broke the heart of the closest thing to friend I had.

Living example .

I walked back home exasperated and guilty. I walked upstairs expecting to see Fort on the bean bag playing with my PS3.

But He wasnt there. I sighed.
Was he at Cara's..

As much I hated the idea i knew he wasn't there.

He had gone.

I shouldnt be crying. What did I do wrong? He wanted to go back, I sent him back.

I never realized ,that I never wanted him to go even though I was the one to send him away.

No.

I dont care about him. He is gone and my life is still the same. I have to live with it.

I crashed on my bed and closed my eyes drowning in my sleep.