THE UNLOVED WIFE

31. THE 15TH ATTEMPT

30. The 15th Attempt

Amir's POV

It's been two months since Zai and I talked. Our days and nights were all spent in silence. We eat separately. I go to work while she just locked herself in her room. I didn't care. I had stopped caring already. And to call her Zai, even in my own thoughts seemed strange and comforting at the same time.

Yes, I want Zai out of my life. I want a fresh start. I want a new life. I want to leave. I want to forget her. I want to move on from the memory of us. I want to be happy again.

I removed my tie and undress myself. Looking myself in the mirror as I put on a white shirt, I still wish things would not end as I thought it would be. But it would be. In a month's time, I will leave our house and move in to a new house I'm buying tomorrow. This is all for the best. How do I know that? Because right now, we are both in the worst moment of our lives. Nobody is ever happy in a divorce setup. But there is wisdom why Allah permits it in Islam. I am not the man for Zai and she isn't for me.

"Excuse me Sir Amir, can I come in?" Aunt Neri's voice said after knocking on the door.

I opened the door and it revealed her face wet with tears.

"What happened? Are you alright Aunty?" I asked worriedly.

"I am dear Son. I'm just... I'm just..." she wasn't able to finish her statement as she went straight to the bed and sat on it.

"Your wife has not eaten properly for two months now. And it hurts to see her in that state. Could you please go to her upstairs and convince her to have dinner with you?"

"Aunty, you know I can't. It will only set her hopes high about our marriage," I reasoned out stiffly.

I witnessed tears streaming down the old woman's face, making me feel guilty and yet angry at the same time. How could Zai make her worried this way? How selfish could she be?

"Alright, I'll go talk to her at least," I said.

Her eyes brightened up.

"Then I'll go light the candles for a candlelight dinner," she happily said, automatically switching her mood.

"Aunty, no. Please, no candles. I've already eaten. I'll just tell her to eat," I corrected her.

"Then accompany or talk to her while she's eating," she pleaded.

I smiled at how Aunty was trying to trick me again.

"Okay," I said in surrender.

"Yes! Alhamdulillah!" she exclaimed then happily left the masters bedroom.

I inhaled before leaving our room too. As I climbed the staircase, I thought of how to approach my wife. I feel like a complete stranger to the woman I married, to the woman I once love. It's weird how the woman who meant the world to me is slowly drifting out of my heart and my priorities.

I knocked first before entering. She was half lying down, with her head on the headboard. A book was on her hand. It was Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. She looked at me then looked down again on her book.

"Dinner's ready. Do come down and eat. Aunt Neri has been crying and worried of you," I gently told her.

I now noticed how thin she had become, her hair seemed unbrushed and her face looked so pale. She appears ugly and disoriented. I guess that's what infidelity does to women.

"I've eaten already. Thank you," she said, still not looking at me.

I stared around the guest room where she was staying. The floor was filled up of papers and used clothes. It does not even seem to be a room of a woman. She's so pathetic.